Distance and the Heart

My brother just spent nine weeks at the International ALERT Academy Basic Training in Big Sandy, Texas. The fall-out has been interesting.

I didn’t miss him as much as I had suspected, seeing how close we are. A little background: we are the only “real” siblings in our family. While we had several foster siblings off and on growing up (that we love in a different way) he and I have a special bond, especially as we’ve grown older and more mature. We still get on each other’s nerves, but we’d die for each other in a heartbeat… Continue reading

5 Fixes for a Brother Who Grew (WITHOUT Permission!)

5 Ways to Fix a Little Brother Who Grew
WITHOUT PERMISSION

The brother. At first he was a manageable size – perhaps bread-box sized. Next he started moving around, and was more dog-sized, but that was all right, since you’d grown, too. Eventually, he was allowed out of the high chair, because he was too big for that, but you didn’t need to investigate your options prematurely…

Then. Then you got up one morning and there he was: an enormous creature, towering over you. How? Why? And how was it you weren’t consulted?

20161013_114108Take heart – I’ve walked this path, too. I feel the trauma, and I have 5 solutions to offer the desperately out-grown:

  1. Bricks on his head.

Ideally, this should be done before the growth takes place, but if you are at a stage when slowing him down won’t help, the best you can hope for is that they’ll 1) telescope his spine, or 2) give him a bad stoop, bringing him back to eye-level.

2. Platform shoes.

The poor girl’s solution, and not really feasible if you are a short older brother.

3. Instill in him a proper respect for authority.

Again, this is ideally begun at an earlier stage, but there’s no harm done in attacking the root of the issue. Young men who respect their elders and betters will naturally refrain from dominating the head-space.

4. Only appear next to him in forced perspective.

This might seem like a band-aid solution, but if it protects your pride, that’s a vital organ to protect.

5. LAST RESORT SOLUTION: Bludgeon him into submission and make him crawl on his hands and knees.

20161013_113154This should only be undertaken under the most drastic of circumstances. Tip: if bludgeoning is not an option for moral, physical, or financial reasons, hiding his game controller or unplugging his computer might yield similar results.

(If you succeed in subjugating him, congratulate yourself! You may have lost the height battle, but you’ve gained a minion, and the usefulness of those as cannon fodder and hero-distractions cannot be minimized.)


cropped-IMGP5698-wVerse.jpgKimia Wood has been writing stories since she was little. Now she writes to give the people living in her head a chance at life, and to make beautiful things with words.

Her wonderful little brother turns 19 on February 8th. 😊

“Kate Walden Directs: Bride of Slug Man” by Julie Mata

kate waldenBSMcover This story about a middle-grader with a passion for making movies is accessible to people of any age or any interest, and is an engaging, fun read.

Kate Walden is a seventh grader with dreams of a Hollywood director career. She’s already made one movie, and is determined to make a second. However, a new boy moves into her school and decides to make a movie, too. From there, the complications mount as she strives to show up the newcomer while scrounging for actors, props, and locations…and dealing with bullies and friend-issues. Ah, the simplicity of middle school. Continue reading