Does abuse make it okay for women* to divorce their husbands?

That’s the question of the day…and it’s a toughie.

(*This post is framed in terms of female victims and male aggressors, because it’s easier to speak specifically that way – and it’s more common for physical abuse. But we all know women are also dirty sinners who need Jesus, and can be abusers just as easily.)

God hates divorce.

Jesus told us that He allowed it because of our sinfulness…but He also made it clear that He designed marriage for something better.

“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matt. 19:9)

So, short answer:

I don’t see “abuse” mentioned here.

But that’s a hard thing to say to the woman whose husband beats her, verbally destroys her, or otherwise degrades her body, mind and heart. That’s not how it’s meant to be. God’s heart breaks with ours for her.

But what does God’s word say we should do?

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Jesus is God (John 1:1-5), created the world (Heb. 1:1-4), and is the exact radiance of His Father.

And yet – he suffered abuse! Isaiah 53:3-11 describes the “Man of sorrows” who suffered cruelty, mockery, and literal whips and nails.

Your husband abusing you does not mean you’ve done something wrong!

God says men should be the leaders of the family (1 Cor. 11:3) and “love [their] wives, as Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:25). But they screw up. A lot.

Big surprise. Adam, the very first man, the first human, and the perfect creation of God, chose to reject his Creator – and doomed us all.

Yes, you are a sinner. But you are not responsible for others’ sin.

Jesus – perfect, sinless God-man – suffered and died…for us.

Job – faithful servant of God – suffered horribly. He went from the rich owner of many herds, happy father of many children, faithful benefactor of orphans and widows, and devoted worshipper of God, to:

Penniless father of dead children, whose own wife advised him to “Curse God and die!”, sick and sore-covered worshiper of God. Remember: his own “friends” came over while he was treating his boils with ashes and accused him of the equivalent of “running a pedophile ring” or something…

And “In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong” (Job 1:22).

Shelby (I’m going to call this theoretical abused woman “Shelby”) – your husband is doing horrible, wicked things. That doesn’t mean you’ve sinned! Are there choices you made in the past that could have led here? Absolutely! But suffering is not always a punishment! (see Acts 5:40-41)

So…”how then should we live?” How can we honor God in the midst of these sinful circumstances?

Be Imitators of God

Image credit: Joseph Martin Kronheim/Kean Collection/Getty Images via SCPR.org

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Eph. 5:1-4)

Ephesians 5 is a classic passage for talking about marriage…but do you see how the chapter starts?

“Be imitators of God…” That’s how you start. Don’t let yourself be controlled by what your husband is doing…you keep your eyes on Jesus.

“Be pure and free of coveting…watch how you walk, so as to separate yourselves from the sons of darkness, and submit to one another out of reverence for Christ!”

God never promised it would be easy. In fact, He promised we couldn’t do it – not without His help and His Holy Spirit living inside us. But take comfort from the words of Paul:

If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Cor. 7: 13-16)

I don’t see from this that Shelby (our suffering wife) can leave her husband. But if he wants to leave, she has no obligation to stop him, or pursue him. If she found Jesus, and he refused Jesus – she is to live at peace.

This is the adornment of the daughters of God: quiet spirit, humble attitude, a servant’s heart (see 1 Peter 3:1-6; we see the church fathers were in agreement about this). You will stand out from the women of the world, and display the truth of God’s word by living this way.

What does that look like when you’re scared to go home? I don’t know. But I know God will be with you.

“What Can Man Do To Me?”

“Abuse” takes many forms. Some British politicians suggested expanding it to “economic abuse.”

But a husband who beats his wife is obviously sinning. He is not being considerate of the fact she’s a delicate flower compared to him (1 Peter 3:7), nor honoring her as he honors his own body (Eph. 5:28-31).

“Shelby” can’t make him care about that, of course. So –

What can Shelby do? And what are the possible outcomes?

• Shelby might die.

Okay. If Shelby belongs to Jesus…then she just graduated and shot to her place under the altar before the throne of God (Rev. 6:9-11)!

Yes, death is serious, and we shouldn’t be flippant about it…but let’s be real about Who we serve. Jesus, the Grand Executor of Death.

No, I don’t think we should go around advising the Shelbys in our lives to hope her husband kills her – but we need to get a grip on what we’re really afraid of.

Suffering is bad. Pain is bad. But they’re not something we can’t face – and in fact, even death is something Christians have faced throughout history…often gladly. Singing hymns as the stones flew, or the lions ate them.

This is where Shelby’s response to her husband is going to be crucial.

Now, God’s not going to disinherit her if she responds badly (gossiping, backbiting, disrespecting him, etc.)…but think of the glory when she is faithful – patient, peace-making, respectful, gentle-hearted! When her neighbors and relatives look at her life and death, they will say, “How could she put up with that? Why did she submit to him without enabling him?”

The answer, of course, will be: only through the POWER of Jesus! (Matt. 5:43-44)

(Besides, life in prison might be where Shelby’s husband finally breaks and turns to Jesus.)

• Shelby’s kids might die.

This is a more serious consideration…but again, if they belong to Jesus, that just means they’re home free.

And besides, on what basis do we want concerned individuals taking children away from their families? God gave these children to this family…and even if we can’t understand His logic, it’s our duty as Christians to do things His way – especially when it’s hard.

With that in mind, should Shelby send them away (to her mom’s, to foster care, etc.) – while staying in the house to witness to her husband? You could make a case that her “sphere of authority” means this could be an option for her to exercise her responsibility for her kids. But see the 1 Cor. 7 passage above…I’m not convinced from God’s word that we should break up this family as our first option – but more on that below.

• Shelby’s husband may be convicted, turn from his sin, and surrender to Jesus.

Hallelujah!

• Shelby may sin.

Either by leaving him, responding in kind (evil for evil), or some other response that’s contrary to God’s word.

Sure, God can forgive her…but –

…if through my lie God’s truth abounds to his glory, why am I still being condemned as a sinner?

And why not do evil that good may come?—as some people slanderously charge us with saying. Their condemnation is just. (Rom. 3:7-8)

As much as it breaks our hearts, as Christian brothers and sisters to the Shelbys in our lives it is our duty to remind them of God’s truth and help them live it out.

• Shelby may break under the strain, and abandon her faith in Jesus.

This is even worse than outright death. As Christians, we know that physical death only affects our bodies – but Jesus gave His own blood to the whip and to the cross to rescue us from spiritual death.

When we put our trust in God, believe what He did for us, and claim His death as our own, we become part of the refugee-party.

If Shelby turns her back on this, saying something like, “I can’t believe in a God who would make me suffer like this,” then what else could possibly save her? God literally already gave His Only Son for her…what more could be given? What other blood could wash away her sins and seal her for the New Earth?

• Other people may see her suffering, and decide that God doesn’t care.

I don’t have to explain this one, do I? It’s a classic atheist excuse for ignoring God:

“Well, if God is real, why does He allow X, Y, or Z?”

Real Christians know the answers to this: “Are you able to drink the cup I drink?” God allows us free will – and since Adam, we have chosen suffering and oppression – but He also made a way to fix things…through the blood of His own innocent Son, Jesus.

If the people of the world still won’t understand…that’s on them. Not on Shelby, and not on her friends nor the other Christians in her life.

But – this does give us the opportunity to ask: what can we do about it?

How can we show the world the great compassion of God – without breaking His word?

To Comfort Widows and Orphans in Distress

We know God cares about women. Just one quick example: while Jesus was hanging from His wrists and the shredded muscles of His back were sticking to the wood behind Him, He still took the time to make sure His mother had a designated person to give her a roof and meals and protection (John 19:26-27).

As Christians, we’ve faced what we’re really afraid of about abuse…and we’ve reminded ourselves of how God calls us to live. So what does it actually look like, in the physical world? What does it look like to live like God – pleasing Him and helping the hurting?

We Can’t Start By Trusting Ourselves

I know what my very first response is.

If I saw my good friend “Shelby” being punched and yelled at by her husband, I would storm over there with a pitchfork, load her and her kids into my car, and move them into my house until her husband agreed to counseling, or went to jail.

And that – is not from the Bible. That’s from my own heart and head.

Why does God allow evil? Because He allows us a choice — He gives all of us free will…that means Shelby’s husband and Shelby.

Kidnapping Shelby because it’s “in her best interests” is denying her the free will and responsibility she has before God! She has no chance to submit to a sinful husband if I jump in and interfere! She has no chance to confront her husband with Scripture and pray over him as he abuses her.

My heart breaks for those who suffer – and that’s as it should be! But I must never, ever say “I have to do X, Y, or Z, otherwise P, Q, or J bad-thing will happen.” When I do that, I’m not trusting God.

Just like Shelby is not responsible for her husband’s choices, I cannot be responsible for her choices. I can pray for her, tell her what I think is best, and offer all the help I can give…but the decision has to be hers.

Love One Another

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. (1 Cor. 13:4-6)

So how can Shelby love her husband – while obeying God’s word, showing the world the beauty of a humble and submissive spirit, and warning him of the consequences of his sin?

Well…God tells us to “be subject to governing authorities” (Rom. 13:1-4) and “render to Caesar what is Caesar’s” (Matt 22:16-21).

And spousal abuse is – illegal.

Penalties and definitions will vary depending on where you live…but beating your spouse is Assault and Battery.

Shelby, you have a duty to the civil authority to report that. Maybe you don’t want to, maybe you’re afraid what will happen if you do, but your husband’s sin hurts his relationship with God. As his wife, you have a duty to respect him by not gossiping to neighbors and friends, not talking behind his back, not lashing out in anger or using foolish speech, not retaliating or losing your temper yourself…but you also have a duty as his spiritual partner to encourage his relationship with Jesus.

Does he claim to be a follower of Christ? Remind him of God’s word, and discuss his behavior as his concerned sister and soul-mate. Don’t sugar-coat sin…but don’t use personal disagreements as an excuse to attack his spiritual walk. Remember: your goal is to ingest, live, and breathe out Scripture so both of you can draw closer to your King.

Does your husband not have a relationship with Jesus?

Then he doesn’t have the Holy Spirit living inside him, raking him over the coals of conscience every time he loses his temper.

Either way, Shelby, you won’t help him by misrepresenting his actions (lying), making excuses for him (like shifting blame to yourself), or helping him escape the consequences of his actions.

When my brother and I were little, our parents regularly prayed that, if we snuck around to do something we shouldn’t, that we would be caught! Pray the same for your husband (and children)!

If your husband physically attacks you, call the police! File a report, and send him to jail! God gave the government the “sword” so they can punish wrong-doers.

You can still visit him, and speak God’s truth to him. Maybe facing real consequences for his bad behavior will finally teach him some restraint.

Easy? Of course not. And it’s all the harder because this is a choice only you can make. Don’t ask your sister or Sunday School teacher or pastor or neighbor to file a police report for something that happened to you. You are the one with a duty to your husband, and your children…honor the “emperor” and allow him jurisdiction over your abusive husband.

Trust and Obey

Maybe you’re a different Shelby — your husband doesn’t beat you, but he does verbally hurt you and belittle you and stomp on your emotions.

This is also a hard road, but that’s no excuse for leaving the path God has drawn for us.

Eat His word. Not devotionals, not other human’s advice – God’s actual inspired word in the Bible. If you are a Christian, then His Holy Spirit lives inside you, and He will give you strength to follow where He leads.

Even if He leads you to the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

The LORD is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

He will even surround you with brothers and sisters in Jesus to encourage you and testify when you are walking the hard but straight path.

What About the Rest of Us?

How can we “comfort widows and orphans in their distress” (James 1:27) – without breaking God’s word, and without trying to be responsible for everyone else’s choices?!

Image credit: Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. (Eph. 5:15-16)

Recognizing that we will never “change the world”…that we will never create a utopia where every man is perfectly loving and kind to his wife and children, and every wife is respectful and supportive of her husband, and all the children obey their parents with good attitudes the first time…*takes breath* in spite of our weaknesses and the broken state of the world, what can we do?

Point Everyone to Jesus

Only when they fix their eyes completely and exclusively on Jesus will husbands—

• shun porn and satisfy themselves with their wives;
• sacrifice their dreams and career ambitions to disciple their children and spend quality time with their wives;
• love their wives enough to tell them the hard truths of God, so their womenfolk can grow into the fully mature princesses they were created to be;
• give gentle and patient answers to sarcasm, ridicule, passive-aggression, manipulation, and bullying;
• stand between their daughters and the world, letting their precious girls know that nobody will hurt them and live to tell about it;
• other things God calls men to!

Only when they fall head-over-heels in love with Jesus can wives—

• let their husbands do the “men” jobs, even when they’re bumbling around and not doing it well;
• trade the world’s measure of success (based on education, money, achievement, and social standing) for God’s measure…and then devote themselves to training their children to love God, love others, have humble hearts, and trust Him alone;
• trust God completely, and let their children make the mistakes that God will use to instruct them (you can’t live their lives for them, after all!);
• do all that, and still have time to host strangers in their homes, donate time and resources to the poor, share the Good News with their neighbors, etc. (Titus 2; Prov. 31);
• basically show the world what a woman ruled by the Spirit of God acts like!

We are called to be a distinct people – a kingdom of priests – set apart and holy.

So “…in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy…”

Which comes from 1 Peter 3:

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. (vv. 13-17)

Confront Sin

Does Shelby’s husband claim to be a Christian? Well, then, men of the church – you have a God-given duty to march over to his house and ask him, “Whut?!”

Let’s do this right, though. Check out Matthew 18.

Jim, you saw the bruises on Shelby’s face. So, you take Alex with you as a witness, and go over to the Shelby household. Sit her husband down and ask, “What the heck, man?”

Get his side of the story. Get at the truth.

Tell him, “husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

“He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body.” (Eph. 5:28b-30)

“You don’t go banging your head into the wall, eh, man? So stop defiling the name of your Lord and sinning against His daughter and our spiritual sister, and straighten up.”

If he doesn’t listen to you, the next step is to talk to the elders of the church. But you don’t need me to read Matthew 18 to you…you can figure this out. The point is, there’s a God-honoring way to do this.

And if Nadab and Abihu taught us anything, it’s – sad things happen when we don’t follow God’s instructions! AKA two wrongs don’t make a right.

(Check out Paul’s letters to the Corinthians. Some guy was living with his step-mother – and in his first letter Paul chewed them out for not dealing with it like the sin it was. From the second letter, we can glean that the church kicked the guy out until he straightened up…and Paul encouraged them to repair their relationships because the guy had repented. In the house of God, discipline always longs for repentance and reconciliation…because the goal is holiness.)

Open God’s word. Pray. Do it right.

Don’t try to make their choices for them…but point them to Jesus and His word.

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20)

Stop Shaming Singles

Shelby got into this marriage somehow, right?

Okay, frankly, I’ve been really blessed…I’ve only had one really painful conversation, and it was with my grandparents, who I know love me dearly.

But…

We all know youth group is for the teenagers to pair off. A lot of our seminars and “retreats” are geared towards husbands and wives…which, y’know, is great ‘cause that’s a large percentage of the population…but it kinda leaves us singles out in the cold.

I’m not the only one feeling this, either. The idea that singleness is just a “stage” on the way to marriage (and that marriage is the great end goal of our lives) permeates our unconscious attitudes and word choices. If you’re pushing thirty and still not posting baby pictures on Facebook, what’s wrong with you?!

Obviously, marriage is a fantastic gift from God. GK Chesterton said something like, “Don’t complain that God doesn’t let you enjoy all the women. Marvel that He allows you to have one.”

I think I’ve already discussed in this very post how a sanctified marriage, forged in imitation of the God-Head and His Church, built on the foundation of His word and for His glory, is a beautiful thing.

But here I am, late twenties, never been on a date. Never been asked on a date.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yes – I dearly, passionately wish I was married by this time! I have friends in my small group just a few years older than I am, whose third kid is already a year old!

But God has not led me to marriage. I’ve been too busy working at the job He gave me, visiting people He wants me to minister to, learning spiritual lessons He wants to teach me, and sharing His Good News with the people He sent me to.

Yes, a God-honoring marriage is glory and blessing.

But God-honoring chastity and celibacy and patience in the face of alone-ness is also glory and blessing.

Let’s teach our young people to be satisfied with Jesus! Show your young women and girls they have a church family that will always be there for them and protect them.

Then, maybe they won’t be so desperate and vulnerable that they fall for the first smooth-talking abuser-in-waiting who makes them “feel” special. My great-grandpa had a saying: “Better to be single than wishing you were.”

(Yes, to Shelby this might feel like “closing the barn door after the horse has escaped,” but there are other future-Shelbys out there we need to protect!)

In the world out there, you can’t swing a cat without hitting a romance novel, or a movie with a romantic subplot, or an advertisement with sexual undertones, or a person with a broken heart and a string of failed relationships.

Church, let’s teach the whole council of God.

Let’s teach people the high and holy duties of a Christian marriage, yes…but let’s also teach our young people that they are not defined by a romantic relationship!

If our children and grandchildren belong to Jesus, that is the only relationship in their lives that matters! And if a seminary professor, or an angel from heaven!, were to take a knee and ask for your daughter’s hand…a 1000 times better for her to say, “No,” than to violate God’s will for her life!

And even if he’s a “nice” “Christian” guy – if her eyes are on his hot body, or her own loneliness, or financial security or people’s opinion of her or anything other than the Incarnate God-Man our Master Jesus Anointed-One, then SHE IS DOING IT WRONG.

And with a start like that, who’s surprised when their marriage is full of selfishness, manipulation, bullying, deception, and suffering?

Can God redeem a fallen relationship like this?

Is Jesus descended from King David, whose grandmother Ruth was a Moabitess, whose founding ancestor Moab was the son of Lot by Lot’s own daughter?

(In case you’re wondering…yes. The answer is yes. Matt. 1 and Gen. 19.)

Buuuut…do we want to create situations for God to redeem?

As Paul said to a similar question, “By no means!…” (Rom. 3:6).

So…teach our young men and ladies to be satisfied with Jesus.

If Shelby is a Christian…she really, really shouldn’t marry a non-Christian. No matter how polite, rich, or hot he is. Even if he’s a delightful man who never abuses her at all – this is not the will of God for His daughters (1 Cor. 7, among others).

And teach them the red flags to look for, to detect potential abusers before the fact.

But that’s going to require something else:

Be More Than Sunday Acquaintances

Actually involve yourself in Shelby’s life. She could be your sister, your mother, your daughter…or your neighbor, your coworker, or someone in your church.

Do you smile and nod and ask, “Hi, how are you?” without really listening to the answer?

That’s a problem.

Do you invest in Shelby’s life, know her kids and what they’re busy with, take casseroles over to her house when she’s sick, know what her husband does for a living, etc.? Obviously you can’t be this involved with every family in the church…but you’re not called to be. You’re only called to get involved with the families God has placed in your life.

Is Shelby in your small group or Sunday school class? Are her kids in the same class as your kids? Is she your neighbor? Your sister?

The Good Samaritan didn’t go up and down the land of Israel looking for robbery victims to help. He just happened to be on his way to work, when God put someone in his path…someone in need. And the Samaritan helped him…regardless of how late it made him, or how expensive the medical care was, or whether people walking by would think mean things about him as he lifted the man onto his donkey.

If you are a part of Shelby’s life, then you’ll notice the signs that something isn’t right. And you’ll have the moral cred to step in and help when she needs it. She’ll know you’re not just there to tell her how to run her life…that you actually care.

Because you’ve been there for her.

Shelby – do you have mature Christian women in your life to do this? If not – go find some! Don’t look for women who will just cry and feel bad and hug you (although you will need that sometimes)…look for women who love Jesus more than they love you, and will show you in His word when you’re doing something wrong.

Flag the Wolves

I think the reason a lot of people are uncomfortable with this topic is that, too often, everything has been handled the wrong way.

Shelby’s husband puts a good face on it, and the situation devolves into “he said, she said.”

Or…let’s face it. Sometimes Shelby is an emotional wreck, with no proper spiritual head in her life, and runs damage control for the very person abusing her! Her husband is supposed to be her head…but if he’s not doing his job, it’s easy for her to lose her moorings. Especially when he’s abusing her emotions on top of that.

How do we lovingly tell her that she’s enabling her husband’s sin, and it’s okay to confide in her older Christian mentors? Without, y’know, taking over her life like all her abusive boyfriends? (That’s another hard truth to face: some women gravitate to men who abuse them.)

Or – prepare for a big surprise – sometimes church elders are sinners, too. *audible gasp!*

They have too much invested in the status quo, in how outsiders perceive their congregation, or in their relationships with Shelby’s husband that they ignore the abuse or cover it up.

The recent scandals of the Catholic church and Southern Baptist Convention are easy examples. In these cases, it was actually the church leadership “us[ing] the name of Jesus to prey on” vulnerable people in their care; Russell Moore (head of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention) called this “horrific depravity” (quoted by Kent Covington in WORLD Magazine).

How did God call us to respond to this situation?

Read Matthew 18 and 1 Corinthians 5…and stand firm on God’s word. If these creeps (Jude 4) running your church building don’t really know Jesus – then you need to share God’s Good News so they can repent and escape hell!

If they are members of Jesus’ body – you need to share God’s Good News so they can repent! Sin interferes in our relationship with God (Matt. 5:23-24) and harms our witness to the unbelieving world… Don’t worry about them facing here-and-now consequences for their wickedness (like prison) if it helps them sort out their hearts before God (1 Cor. 5:3-5).

(Again – allowing the “emperor” the authority that God gave him to punish evil – like sex and child abuse. We’re not running off to form our own inquisition here.)

Some people use Scripture to batter their women-folk into subservience.

But did Adam doom us all by following the advice of his wife and a snake and seizing by conquest the one thing God had not given him?

(Yes. Yes he did.) And ever since, every one of us has been a twisted sinner, fighting God’s law and striving to rule the world ourselves.

Does my sinfulness (or Shelby’s, or her husband’s, or Joel Osteen’s) invalidate the word of God? Stark verboten!

What if the elders at your church are on the take?

Corrupt church leadership? Shuffling sexual predators from church to church to protect our “reputation?” Using the Bible like a club to tell women to shut up and make me a sandwich already?!

*gasp!* It’s not like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day were twisting God’s word to satisfy their greed and lust, and leaving their elderly parents and disfavored wives out in the cold (Mark 7:9-13)!

“Elders” just means “old dudes,” okay? So, if you’re a mature believer and “little Christ,” then it’s your responsibility to get involved!

My family hasn’t taken our church problems to court in the past, because it wasn’t worth the trouble for us (and “don’t you have any learned men to decide cases in the body?”)

But if there are serious sin issues going on – treat it seriously.

I don’t care if they’re your next door neighbor, or the president of your denomination, or your own brother – these creeps should be behind bars! They haven’t gone beyond the reach of God if they serve a prison sentence. Maybe this is the only way He could reach them! After all, when they’re full of themselves, they might think they don’t need anything…when actually—

For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. (Rev. 3:17)

Ignoring their deeds and covering up the sin isn’t “loving” to these creeps…and it isn’t “loving” to their victims, either.

Jesus didn’t come to make us feel warm and fuzzy and affectionate toward each other (Matt. 10:34-39).

He came to pay the penalty of our sin and give us His righteousness.

God is in the business of fixing broken things.

Just go read James, people. In fact, go read the rest of your Bible. It’s the only way to really make Jesus your Spiritual Head, and ensure that you’re walking in His will…not using “abuse” as a get-out-of-jail-free card every time the road gets tough. Marriage is supposed to be hard…that way we lean only on Jesus, not our own strength.

And that’s the bottom line…do we trust God? Trust Him enough to obey His word? Even when there’s something nasty involved, like abuse?

Do I trust Him enough to let Him run Shelby’s life – instead of me?

As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. (James 5:10-11)

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This post is approved by my spiritual head.

Kimia Wood currently lives somewhere in the American Midwest with her family – including the brother people mistake for her boyfriend.

She’s bracing for the collapse of society by working, baking, knitting, writing, and other excuses for not gardening.

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