How to Stay Single and Lonely

Are you single, Christian, and lonely? Plenty of people are single…and a fair number are Christian. But to be all that and lonely, too – well, that’s something hang on to!

Are you SCL? Own it! Life will try to tear that affiliation from you, and you’ve got to fight back. Here are some ways how:

DON’T Spend Time With Your Family

How to Stay Single and Lonely — Kimia WoodDo you have any siblings? AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS. Sure, they might bug you, but that’s just another way of paying attention to someone – and the core of Loneliness is having no one pay attention to you. Your brothers and sisters will try to un-lonely you…shun them!

Also, ignore your parents. Do not cook meals for them. Do not help them with yard work or home repair. And definitely DO NOT have long, in-depth conversations with them about your life, their lives, God, or events in the world.

Even talking about your favorite things can be a danger-ground. Stick to two subjects: the weather (especially if it’s gloomy), and your miserable lack of success in finding a spouse.

Possible loophole: if you’re now older than your parents were when they got married, talk about that. A lot. Continue reading

How to Detect a False Teacher

How to Detect a False Teacher — Kimia WoodThe Bible calls false teachers “wolves.” Unlike a shepherd – who feeds and protects the flock – these saboteurs creep in and tear apart the flock – spiritually, physically, and corporately. (See Jude 3-4…and the rest of Jude, too.)

Thanks to some recent sermons at our church, here’s a quick list of red flags to spot these duplicitous leaders. Continue reading

Marriage Advice for a “Golden” Relationship

Today is my parents’ “golden anniversary”, meaning that they’ve been married for 29 years and it’s the 29th of July.

Marriage Advice for a Golden Relationship — Kimia Wood

After observing them for some time, I’ve gleaned these pieces of marriage advice from their relationship:

How to Be “Happy to Be Stuck With You”

Put Jesus at the center.

Marriage Advice for a Golden Relationship — Kimia Wood

“I gave up my life in your place. Now you do the same for your wives.”

My parents weren’t married “young” in the sense that they were still teens, but they were definitely younger than they are now (truism!). Not only were their personalities and ideologies still developing, but the Holy Spirit hadn’t done as much renovation in their lives as He has at this point.

People who become entangled in relationships at a very young age can find that, as they grow and mature, they aren’t so compatible as they once were. The best example off the top of my head is the protagonist from God’s Not Dead and his girlfriend. (My brother can hate me for mentioning it if he wants.)

Those two started the relationship before they really had to live their faith in a way that challenged them. When the guy tried to follow God in the direction he felt called, the girl refused to go that direction – and split.

If you are a Christian, you have to make sure your life-partner is a Christian, too. If both of you have the Holy Spirit living inside you, teaching you want God wants, then no matter how you each change other the years you’ll be pulling in the same direction. You’ll both be yoked to the same Master. Continue reading

Be a Dog Not a Cat

Be a Dog Not a Cat

Dog and cat – the eternal dichotomy of the first world (since we can’t talk about men and women anymore).

There’s an old joke that goes like this:

The dog says, “You feed me; you shelter me; you play with me; you care for me…you must be God!”

The cat says, “You feed me; you shelter me; you play with me; you care for me…I must be God!”

We take an extreme example to make a point – and the point is this: Decide to be the dog. Here’s why… Continue reading

Not Hopeless: Be 25 and Perfectly At Home

I’m 25 and still living at home. But that doesn’t mean I’m a failure, or that my life is a failure. And it doesn’t need to mean that for you, either!

Not Hopeless: Be 25 and Perfectly at Home — Kimia Wood — home

There are lots of reasons to share a roof with your parents, even in your mid- or late-twenties. It’s not a reason to despair. (Although I sometimes feel that way, too.) Here are some of my reasons – feel free to reference them the next time that church-member or well-meaning relative gives you that pitying look and says, “So…” Continue reading

Easter Sunday Song

To the tune of “Doe of the Morning” (as far as you know)

Half the praise team is singing off key.
The director’s trying to pick up the time.
These dumb modern songs that just grab a hymn
And stretch out the chorus with weak-sauce rhymes.

It’s covered by the blood;
It’s covered by the blood.
Compared to what He’s done
The race’s all been run.
It’s covered by the blood of Je-sus!

That “Jesus” can’t be out of his teens.
Y’know, he ain’t shaved in over a week –
And they still had to make up his hair and his face
S
o he looked over thirty, the poor little tyke.

It’s covered by the blood;
It’s covered by the blood.
Compared to what He’s done,
The race’s done been run.
It’s covered by the blood of Je-sus!

I just gotta tell you, my hat is the best.
Admire my dress while I stand here and boast.
Say, here comes that snooty Mz. Emily West.
Oh, look at her hat! I hate it the most!

It’s covered by the blood;
Covered by the blood.
Compared to what He’s done,
The race’s all been run.
It’s covered by the blood of Je-sus.

Mom won’t take me to Calvary’s egg hunt,
And Grandma’s burned the Easter Sale ham.
(What’s worse, this piggie was clearly a runt.)
Now Grandpa’s singing that “Just As I Am”.

It’s covered by the blood;
Oh, covered by the blood.
Compared to what He’s done,
The race has done been run.
It’s covered by the blood of Jesus.

“The dumb-ness of God is smarter than men;
“The weakness of God is stronger than men.”
That’s why I bury His Word in my brain;
He’s forging me stronger – again and again.

I’m covered in the blood;
I’m covered by the blood.
Compared to what He’s done,
My race is fully run —
I’m covered in the blood of Jesus.

3 Things Owning a Dog Taught Us

Two years ago, my family got its first dog. 3 Things Owning a Dog Taught UsHe’s a mild-mannered Border Collie with beautiful coloring and a low-maintenance coat – but that just tells you about his outside.

In the course of training him, we didn’t just learn about the way dogs think. We learned several things about human nature, as well.

I Can’t Read Alpha’s Mind

Border Collies are very smart. Too smart, in fact. Because they’re also lazy (like humans) they will try to guess, and “work smarter, not harder”.

When the military tried to train them as tracking dogs, they found that the Border Collies wouldn’t follow the scent. Not because their noses weren’t strong enough. But because they would try to take short-cuts, and guess.

Instead of following the clear scent trail, they would try to “skip ahead” and cut the quarry off – and 50% of the time they’d guess wrong. Continue reading

The Huge Crisis for Christian Romance

The Huge Crisis for Christian Romance

There’s something rotten in Christian fiction. Personally, a romance in a book has to work pretty hard to impress me, but I want to specifically address the authors who claim the name of Christ publicly while including romance in their fiction.

Romance itself is not bad or disrespectful to God; evidence: Ruth, Genesis 24, Ephesians 5 (vs. 25), etc. I’m looking at a few specific issues I’ve noticed in some recent Christian romance novels that I think every sincere follower of the Lord Jesus Christ needs to take seriously. Continue reading

Why Are Bad Book Reviews So Important?

Why Are Bad Book Reviews So Important?

Some people on the internet refuse to write or publish “negative” book reviews. They claim the writing world is a community, that every book took a lot of effort and tears from its author, and to “support” each other, we shouldn’t air our concerns or disappointments with another’s work.

The problem with that is that this community is about more than patting each other on the back, or smiling politely at something we think is sub-par. And we’re more than just writers – the readers who consume our work have a right to receive the best possible product we as writers can supply!

How do “bad book reviews” serve that purpose? Let’s break it down by who is benefitted by critical reviews: the reader, and the author. Continue reading

“Christmas Carol” Sings the Eternal Song

This is a re-blog from last year, but the points it makes are still true this year! And if you still haven’t read Dickens’ classic work, now’s a great time. Better yet, if you haven’t read the Christmas story in Luke chapter 2 or Matthew chapters 1-2, it’s available for FREE here – and here…and here or here (for Mac). What’s your excuse?

And if you go see the new movie The Man Who Invented Christmas, let me know what you think! WORLD Magazine gave it a recommendation!

Three Things to Think On This “Holiday Season”

51ycpilxgcl If you’re like me, you’re pretty familiar with the mythos of A Christmas Carol, but have never actually read the original. This year, I remedied that.

Charles Dickens’ original story of rich, cantankerous, “Bah-Humbug” Scrooge, the ghosts of Christmas, and the joy of celebration is available on Project Gutenberg and on Amazon as free ebooks (or as an audiobook!), so there’s no barrier to enjoying this classic tale.

As I read Dickens’ version of the story, three things jumped out at me.

Scrooge is still a sympathetic character.

Yes, he snarls at carolers, deals rigidly with his clerk, and Bah-Humbugs the charity collector, but his actions are so over-the-top he is not really villainous. His evil, uncharitable nature is more a caricature of real-life tyrants than otherwise. Further, in the visions of the Ghost of Christmas Past, we glimpse the back-story that led Ebenezer to this point, offering a counter-point to his self-insulated misery.

Everyone (bar grumpy Scrooge) is full of “holiday spirit.”

From the cheery Christmas fruits on the shelf, to the grocers working Christmas morning, to the customers bubbling with good humor toward each other, everyone shows Ebenezer the general aura of “good cheer” that supposedly characterizes the season.

How about us, in the modern world? Did you banter with the people waiting with you in line? Were you cheerful toward your waitress, when you were eating out to celebrate and she was working her feet off on a holiday? Did you show Christmasy compassion and kindness toward your check-out clerks, your annoying uncles, that out-of-control kid in the mall?

Sharing “good will” certainly includes bestowing donations on the “work-houses” of our day (a la Christmas Carol) but it involves so much more than that. I admit it’s difficult, in the midst of extra hours, presents, coordinating vacation plans, and all the rest of the bustle, to remember an upbeat attitude, but it seems to me sort of the whole point. The new-made Scrooge does {SPOILER} give generously with his money, but he also starts giving smiles, greetings, well-wishes, and time – he frivoles at his nephew’s party, leaves his office to enjoy the Christmas-day streets, and invests not just money but time and himself in a relationship with his clerk’s family.

Did anyone else have trouble remembering to be generous with ourselves this year?

Everyone goes to church.

There’s no indication Scrooge’s Christmas day was on a Sunday, but when the church bells ring, everyone sallies out to their ecclesiastical duties (cheerfully, of course).

In 2016, Christmas Day was also Sunday, which is highly fitting. On Christmas, we remember when God the Son came in human flesh as a defenseless baby; on Easter (and, technically, every “first day of the week”) we remember that His purpose in coming was to die on the cross, a sacrifice for our sins, and to rise again, defeating Death forever.

How many people struggled with whether or not to go to church that morning? How many churches cancelled services so people could “be with their families,” forgetting that worship of God was the whole point of Christ-mass?

Yet, in the London which Charles Dickens portrays, everyone gladly follows the bells to the church – Ebenezer Scrooge included.

Forget “Christmas Movies” – Do Your Christmas Reading!

If your only experience of this classic is an abridged children’s version, or one of the movie versions, or vague cultural references, it’s worth it to pick up this Christmas classic and consider the allegories, lessons, and themes it celebrates for yourself.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

God bless us, every one.