NaNo Chapter 1—Happiness Can’t Be Wrapped

NaNoWriMo is wrapping up! So far, I’m on track to finish my 50,000 words by the end of the month…although I haven’t hit every story concept I planned to. Some story ideas took two days to write down! (Which is fine, because some days’ ideas barely filled a page!)

Enjoy the first chapter of this idea! 😉

By the way, my Dad has also been blogging his NaNo progress. Check out his AD&D-inspired adventure, or his fan fiction set in my White Mesa world!!


Twinkle entered the office on tip-toes – not because that made her practically soundless, but because she was nervous.

Santa’s office, after all. The big man himself!

The office chair groaned, and a face appeared over the desk…a huge, red face with a bushy white beard.

“Ah! There you are,” rumbled the deep voice. “Go ahead and have a seat, my little friend.”

Twinkle sprang twice her own hight and landed in the chair in front of the desk. A second chair sat a few feet to the side, where a male elf sat, playing with the bells on the toes of his shoes. He must be nervous, too.

“I’ve asked you two here for a very special reason,” said Santa, sitting back down with a thump that shook the floor. “You see, we’ve run into something of a problem.”

Santa turned his computer screen around to face the two of them.

“The Letter Office turned this up from one of those ‘Email Santa’ sites. Take a look, and tell me what you think.”

Twinkle shifted forward to read better.

Dear Santa,

How are you? I am fine.

I see some kids telling you how good they’ve been, but if you can really see us all the time that doesn’t make sense.

This year all I want is whatever will make Daddy happy. He’s been really quiet and sad lately.

Please and thank you.

Love, Jessie Morgan, New York City, USA

P.S. My teacher Miss Frantz helped me write this.

P.P.S. Are you secretly Jesus? Because he knows everything about what everyone’s done, too. That would be really convenient, because then we could just pray to you instead of writing letters and emails.

Twinkle smiled. The minds of children were so adorable.

“Well,” said the other elf, stroking his chin. “It’s hardly specific. ‘Whatever will make Daddy happy’…There’s a lot of directions that could go in.”

“I love it,” said Twinkle. “It’s so unselfish. Mama Clause gave a lecture just the other day about the problem of selfish children, and whether we were enabling the behavior –”

“Of course she was,” grunted the other elf under his breath.

“Well, I found it fascinating,” said Twinkle. “And I think this is a delightful counter-example.”

“Good points, both of you,” said Santa, putting the computer back in its place. “But my concern is this: our recent initiative for getting every child exactly what they want…no more, no less.”

“Total Accuracy,” quoted the other elf. “Prefer a cheap present with maximum emotional impact to an egalitarian view of economic exchange –”

“Which is just common sense,” said Twinkle.

“Quite,” said Santa. “Glad you two are so on board with the program. But here’s our problem…What would make Jessie’s Daddy happy?”

The elves looked at each other, then back at their boss.

“Do you have any background information?” asked the other elf.

“I deal mostly with children,” said Twinkle. “But I imagine American dads would be very similar.”

“Hardly!” insisted the other elf. “Single? Married? Recently widowed or separated? Is he a sports fan, gamer, workaholic, or academic?”

“But would something catering to those side interests actually make him happy?” exclaimed Twinkle. “Remember our other motto: Happiness isn’t found in a stocking.”

“Well, I feel confident in assigning you to this case,” said Santa. “This is a fact-gathering mission, my friends. As useful as the internet has become in these last few years, sometimes you have to go back to good, old-fashioned footwork.”

“What are our orders, sir?” asked Twinkle, bouncing to an “at attention” pose.

“And mission parameters?” asked the other elf.

“First off,” said Santa. “Twinkle, this is Shimmer. Shimmer, Twinkle.”

Santa’s mustache crinkled, as though he wanted to laugh.

Twinkle loved whenever he laughed during official dinners or speeches or such.

She turned to the other elf, and found his hand stuck out toward her.

She took his hand and shook it.

“Charmed, I’m sure,” said Shimmer.

“So glad to meet you,” said Twinkle. “I’m Pleiades Barracks. You?”

“Polaris Barracks.”

“Right,” said Santa. “The sooner you two start, the better. November is almost gone, you know.”

“Ah, yes,” said Twinkle, jumping down.

“Wait a moment,” said Shimmer. “Do I understand we’re supposed to travel to New York City and investigate this family at close range?”

“Precisely.”

“Ah. What sort of equipment –?”

“Any equipment you think you’ll need for a clandestine operation. Well, now…Anything I left out?”

“Let’s go see the Morgan family,” cheered Twinkle, bouncing up and down in front of the door. “Mission: discover Mr. Morgan’s perfect Christmas present.”

Shimmer cleared his throat, looked to Santa for a nod of affirmation, and jumped to the ground with a grunt.

Santa waved at them, and Twinkle waved back as they left the office.

“I’ll head to the armory for supplies,” said Shimmer. “Will you need to pack anything?”

“I suppose we might be a couple days,” said Twinkle as they headed down the corridor.

“A few days! This is a serious assignment. Clandestine movements, operating under the noses of the humans, cautious observation over an extended period of time…If we really intend to deliver the perfect Christmas present, that’s not something you can decide on after a single day of observation –!”

“Well, gotta go pack,” said Twinkle, skipping down the hallway. “Meet you at the hanger!”

“Meet by 1400 hours,” hollered Shimmer down the hall after her.

Whatever. Why had Santa chosen the two of them to be partners? And especially when everything in the workshop and shipping department was shifting from “high gear” to “highest gear” — the faster they could complete this assignment, they sooner they’d be back to help with other operations.

Still…the Total Accuracy Initiative… A present for Jessie’s Daddy was a present for Jessie, and every child deserved the perfect gift.

Even if it meant thinking outside the box.

Twinkle paused to stare at the poster tacked to the wall of the corridor. It was a picture of Santa in his outfit, and he was smiling broadly and pointing at his temple.

On top it declared, “Think outside the box!”

The text beneath proclaimed the motto: “Happiness isn’t found in a stocking.”

Twinkle scurried toward her barracks to pack what she would need. The mission was on!


Kimia Wood grew up under aNaNo Chapter 1—Happiness Can't Be Wrappedn aspiring author, so spinning words and weaving plots is in her blood.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates on her latest reading and writing adventures.

NaNo Chapter 1: Noah’s Bad Day

NaNoWriMo marches on. Here’s the “Chapter One” I wrote yesterday!

What story might follow it?


Noah approached the corner table, pen and notepad in hand.

“Good afternoon,” he said – trying not to make contact with the cat-eyes across the table. “My name’s Noah, and I’ll be your server today. Can I start anyone with any drinks?”

Thank goodness for three years’ experience of rote repetition. The girl sitting in the far chair (she looked like a preteen) was very distracting.

One of her cat ears twitched, and she smiled up at him. Gah! Her pupils were thin vertical slits! How easy was it for her parents to adapt to that? The other three in her family looked like pretty standard humans.

“Can I have lemonade please?” she asked.

“O-Of course,” said Noah, scribbling in his notepad.

It wasn’t fair, of course. No one knew where the mutations came from…and no one treated him differently for the weird scars on his face.

One night, he’d scratched his face…and woken up to find his pillow covered in blood. That’s what happened when you abruptly grew claws without realizing it.

Thank heavens for industrial strength nail clippers.

Noah smiled and nodded and went to put in the drink orders.

“Hey,” he said, nodding to the fry chef as he entered the kitchen. “Have you checked out Table 8? The girl’s got cat ears!”

Mr. Michael was not so much a “fry chef” as a Fry Master. He chuckled around the stumps of his tusks (every six months he visited the dentist to have them shaved down; it kept him from drooling into the oil).

“Have you seen Table 3?” asked Logan, juggling two trays. “Kid’s got honest-to-goodness butterfly wings. I’d hate to do third grade in his shoes.”

“Amazing his parents haven’t taken them off,” said Noah, collecting his orders for Table 1. “Hey, can anyone do me a favor? My shoulder-blades are killing me.”

Someone started rubbing his back. “Fresh scabs?” asked a voice – Jake, the manager.

“No, just crazy itching. I don’t know what it is. It’s driving me nuts,” said Noah. “Thanks, man.”

“Anytime,” said Jake, scratching his shoulder-blades. “Anything to keep you from touching it yourself.”

“Ha! This isn’t my first rodeo,” said Noah, flexing one hand.

He delivered the tray to Table 1, took more orders from Table 8, and refilled soda on Table 7.

As he came back into the kitchen, Jake was talking to Logan while sorting through the order tickets.

“One thing’s for sure — these mutations aren’t going away,” he said. “Which begs the question: do we try to pretend they’re not there? Or do we make the best of it?”

“Yeah,” said Logan. “If my kid came out with a tail or something, would I want to hack it off? Or show him I loved him just the way he was?”

“If you nip it when it’s small, they’ve got more of a chance to live a normal life,” said Noah, arranging a tray of drinks. “Ask how I know.”

“Oh, come on,” said Logan. “Don’t you ever have days where you say, ‘Boy, I wish I left my wi–’”

“No,” said Noah. “I like my job. I like my life. I like being able to get through the door of my apartment. I’ll keep telling my body what to do, not the other way around, thank you very much.”

His back gave a throb, but he ignored it and grabbed the drinks tray.

He flexed his shoulders and pushed the door open with his foot. He had no time to get achy right now; the lunch rush was just dying down, and then the dinner rush would pick up. He had things to do, and he wasn’t going to let something like a shoulder-ache get in the way.

As he was setting out the drinks for Table 4, both shoulder-blades throbbed. He clenched his teeth to stop himself wincing in front of the guests.

“I’ll – be back in a moment for your orders,” said Noah. “Unless you think…Actually, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be – right back in a moment.”

Hugging the tray, he headed for the front door. He didn’t smoke, but he needed a smoke break. He needed some fresh air, and a good, hard scratch on his back…and…

Something hit his back, and he fell on his butt in the foyer. Something was hanging on his back, trying to tip him over backwards.

Noah curled forward, hugging his knees. He had to get out the door. He had to do something. But he couldn’t even stand up and walk.

A little old lady with a walker froze on her way to the door, staring.

Logan came through the foyer with his notepad out – and dropped it to rush to Noah’s side.

“Does it look that bad?” whispered Noah – and yelped as his shirt tore.

“What on earth?” Logan gulped, his hands flickering around like mosquitos as he tried to think of something useful to do.

“Get Mr. Jake,” rasped Noah, rolling forward onto his knees and stomach as the thing behind him hauled even harder on his shoulders.

“R–Right,” said Logan, and darted away.

Noah started crawling for the doors. It was hard to move because the weights were all wrong…Gravity was treating him wrong.

He reached the doors and pushed the bar. Still crawling, he made it over the threshold – and got stuck.

He pulled, and twisted, and then tried to move backward – but he was stuck.

A family stepped up to the glass outer doors – and froze, staring in fascination.

Noah waved at them weakly, trying to smile.

Something tickled him on his shoulder – except the part of the shoulder that was still inside the restaurant.

Noah clapped his hands over his head. His own nerve endings were sending the signals to his brain — but his brain couldn’t handle it. It was all wrong. His body shouldn’t be like this.

Mr. Jake came through the second set of doors and stood in the entry-way, looking down at Noah.

“Hold on a second,” he said, and opened the door for the family still hesitating on the sidewalk.

“Good afternoon, folks,” he said. “Feel free to come in this way…Just a little medical emergency. It’s under control.”

Noah did not feel like having your enormous wings lodged in the entryway was “under control.”

Jake smiled and held the door for some more customers, then stepped to Noah’s side.

“We’re going to go straight through,” he said. “I’ve got this side. Logan, you got the other?”

Logan’s voice came muffled from beyond the bulkitude of Noah’s wings.

Jake grabbed one side and shoved inward.

Noah felt his two wings meet above his back and rub together (although his brain rebelled at this interpretation of the sensations).

He started crawling again, and his friends followed at his sides. He made it through the outer door and kept crawling until he felt his wings spring free to either side.

As the huge, membraned limbs spread out above him, the sidewalk was cloaked in shadow.

Noah put a hand over his mouth to keep from swearing in front of his boss. “It was my good work shirt, too!”

“Man!” said Logan. “Why would they grow back like that? I thought you just had to trim the stumps every few months or so –”

“I did,” wailed Noah. “They never did this before. Why would they do this?”

“Well,” said Mr. Jake, hands shoved thoughtfully into his pockets. “Maybe, if keeping them trimmed isn’t working, you’ll have to find a new way to live with them. In harmony.”

“Harmony?” hollered Noah. “I can’t fit through doors! I can’t follow dress code! How can I live in harmony with an angry condor growing out of my back?”

“Hey,” said Jake, and put out his hand to help Noah to his feet. “Try brain-storming, huh?”

Noah staggered upright, and leaned forward to keep from landing on his butt again.

Without meaning to, he found the muscles that controlled the huge, freaky cling-ons…and almost knocked himself and Jake over with the air blast.

“Look,” said Jake. “Take the rest of the day off, and give me a call in the morning. We’ll work with you on this.”

“I’ll get with my doctor,” said Noah. “These beasties are going down.”

“Hold on,” said Logan, appearing around the corner of one tent-like, membranous wing. “If they grew back over about ten minutes, what’s to say they won’t grow back again as soon as you cut them off?”

“I’m to say,” said Noah, throwing out his arms to keep from toppling over. “I can’t live a life like this. I’ll figure out something.”

Mr. Jake gave a funny, smug-looking smile. “Tell me how that works out for you.”


Kimia was raised by an aspiring author, so spinning words and weaving plots are in her blood.

She currently lives with her family somewhere in the American Midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates on her latest reading and writing adventures.

Chapter 1—Ralph Roister-Doister Meets Zombies

November is National Novel Writers’ Month…better known as NaNoWriMo!

The goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days…but this year, instead of writing one cohesive novel, my dad, brother, and I are writing 30ish scenes from different story ideas. Or as we like to call it, Thirty “First Chapters”. (Keep track of my progress on my profile here.)

Here’s what I wrote yesterday. Can you imagine the story that might follow it? What twists might be in store?


Chapter 1—Ralph Royster-Doyster Meets Zombies — Kimia Wood

Image from Pixabay

Ralph ran.

High school was bad enough – what with grades, and college applications, and girls that didn’t like you, and friends who were all trying to figure it out at the same time – but now things were chaos.

The Algebra 1 teacher – plus a bunch of freshmen – had charged into the cafeteria and started biting people. Mr. Morgan of the History department and Ms. Chambers of Social Studies had barricaded a bunch of students into the auditorium until the police could show up…but Ralph was not one of those students.

He’d just missed the closing of the doors, screamed while they piled chairs and tables on the other side, and then kept running as the crowd of bleeding, howling students charged down the hall.

His phone had been in his locker, so he couldn’t even call his mom to come pick him up…or to tell her to stay far away!

Ralph’s dad would be at the office, but that was all the way downtown…could he even get there without a car?

One or two of the crazies in the cafeteria had been strangers…just where was this coming from? How big was this? Would he be safe downtown? Or should he head into the suburbs, where there wouldn’t be so many people?

Ralph dropped to a seat on a curb, wheezing. So this was what came of joining the choir club, not the football team. He’d thought he would just avoid getting crushed by those crazy three-hundred-pound tackle-guys.

Apparently he was going to have a heart attack and die being chewed on by crazies.

A howl came up the street.

Ralph shivered and jumped up. Two white-eyed figures were stumbling up the street — the first one had blood streaming from a bite wound on her neck. The second had torn clothes, and no left arm.

Fighting the urge to hurl, Ralph got back to running.

The neighborhood around his high school was really nice. Some of these houses had wrought iron fences around them, and gates on the front doors and good alarms systems.

Finding a low curb that ran underneath one of the fences, he grabbed the top rung and levered himself up.

There was nothing for his feet to catch on. As he scrabbled at the vertical iron bars, more howls came from two different directions. He didn’t dare look for the freaky creatures who would be coming.

Ralph’s sneaker slid on the metal, then lodged between two bars. Great…now he was stuck half-way up a fence, and being hunted by crazy zombie-freaks!

“Thank goodness, man.”

Ralph twisted his head to look around, trying not to impale himself on the fence.

Grant (his lab partner in fourth period Chemistry) dashed up and grabbed his stuck foot.

“What are you doing here?” gasped Ralph.

“Great minds think alike, buddy. Inside the fence is better than outside.”

Grant grabbed both Ralph’s feet and shoved upward. Now with more leverage, Ralph could swing himself up until he was balanced on top of the fence.

He shoved one foot onto the support bar that topped the fence – then the other foot.

“Come on,” he said, putting one hand down. He tightened his grip on the ironwork. “Don’t get stabbed on the spikes, okay?”

Grant took his hand, grabbed the top of the fence with his other hand, and jumped.

Ralph hauled upward – Grant’s foot found the top support bar – and they both jumped clear on the inside of the fence.

As they rolled in the grass, groaning, a thunder of footsteps came up the sidewalk.

White-eyed crazies – at least five of them – pounded on the fence, moaning and howling. Their arms started to bleed as they shoved them through the rough metal bars…but they didn’t seem to notice at all. In fact, their blood hardly seemed to run —

“Let’s get out of here,” said Grant.

They both scrambled to their feet and headed for the house.

Ralph found it impossible to run, now – and it seemed Grant had the same problem. They staggered along in a half-jog, panting.

As they came to the front of the house, Ralph glanced up the driveway.

“Well, I feel stupid now,” he said. “The gate’s open.”

“Shoot,” said Grant. “You go close it while I try to alert the people at home.”

The last thing Ralph wanted to do was to near the street again…but with the gate standing open like that, the fence wasn’t doing much good. Besides, all the zombies seemed clustered where he and Grant had jumped the fence…so hopefully it wouldn’t be too dangerous.

He trotted down the driveway and grabbed the big rolling gate to push it closed.

It wouldn’t budge.

Breathing heavily, Ralph looked over the mechanism. Maybe there was a button to close it automatically? Maybe if he pushed a little harder…?

He braced his foot against a bar of the fence and shoved. Nothing happened. He shifted his leverage, readjusting his weight, and shoved again.

Nothing.

He ran to the other side of the gate. There didn’t seem to be any button or control box there, either.

And there were some staggering figures on the corner that looked like they might be zombies…and he sure didn’t want to attract their attention.

Ralph snuck back to the front door, staying low and moving as quickly as he could.

“It’s got an automatic mechanism,” he said as he came up to Grant. “And I can’t budge it.”

“Well, no one’s answering the door,” said Grant. “So we’ve got to do something.”

“If we can call my dad and tell him where we are, he can come get us,” said Ralph. “Let’s try to find a phone.”

“Yeah…so much for not having phones in class,” said Grant. “This is exactly why we should always have them on us.”

“I don’t think our teachers expected this to ever happen,” mumbled Ralph as they started walking around the house.

They found a side door — inside they could see a kitchen, but it was locked, and no one answered their pounding.

Along the back side of the house were steps that led to a second-story balcony. They climbed the steps and looked for a door that wasn’t locked.

The second door they tried opened into a bedroom. A four-poster bed with pink covers and curtains stood along one side, while a pink vanity covered with lacy, rhinestone-crusted little boxes stood opposite it.

A white wardrobe stood near the bed – the sort of thing Ralph’s mom might call an “armoire.”

“There’s a phone,” said Ralph. “I’ll call my dad. We’d better find if there’s anybody else here and warn them.”

“Yeah – with that gate open, it won’t be long until they’re invaded,” said Grant, and headed for the door.

Ralph dialed his dad’s office…but no one answered. He called home…but no one answered there, either.

He tried his mom’s cell phone…but she was always forgetting to charge it, or leaving it in weird places, or sending it through the washing machine…

He dialed his dad’s cell phone. Dad’s cell number was only for emergencies, since he might be in a meeting or something –

No one answered that number, either.

Ralph swallowed. He twisted the handset in his hands for a moment. The calls were going through – so it wasn’t this phone, or the phone lines, that were bad.

He went to dial 9-1-1.

Shrill voices came down the hall. The bedroom door burst open, and Grant staggered into the room – followed by a grey-haired lady in a little black-and-white maid’s outfit.

Did people really still wear those things? Well, apparently so –

“Out!” shrilled the old maid, smacking Grant with a feather duster. “Youngsters! That’s the trouble with the world these days –”

“But there are crazies out there!” yelped Ralph. “Zombies and monsters! They tore up our school, and I can’t get a hold of my parents, and –”

“You’re no better than burglars,” snapped a young woman, also in a maid’s outfit, coming into the room. “You should be grateful I’m not calling the police on you.”

“I wish you would!” said Ralph. “In fact, I’m calling the police right now! We need help. In fact, you need to close your gate right now –!”

“Oh, we’ll close the gate. As soon as we march you ruffians off the premises.”

Whack! Grant got another blow from the feather duster.

“You’re crazy,” said Ralph. “You can’t be serious. There are man-eating, howling zombie-beasts out there, and you’re going to –”

The young maid flourished a short-handled broom and swung it.

“Ow,” wailed Ralph, cradling his ear.

“We might be safer out there, man,” panted Grant, ducking another swing from the feather duster and heading for the door to the balcony.

“Are you out of your mind?” cried Ralph, covering his head with his arms as he followed. “They’re biting people out there! One guy lost an arm. Mr. Hernandez was straight-up chewing that girl’s face off.”

Smack! The broom caught him across the shoulders, and he jumped with a yelp.

“Move faster, you little hooligan,” said the old maid.

Grant and Ralph ducked out onto the balcony and started toward the steps they came up – pursued by the two maids.

As they made their way down the steps, a moaning and banging came from the front of the house.

Grant and Ralph exchanged the curse word they knew – they howled as the two maids beaned them on the heads.

“They found their way through the gate,” whimpered Ralph.

“We have to get inside fast!” panted Grant.

“Nice try, little imps,” said the old maid. “I know your type. If it was up to me, I’d give you a –”

They never found out what she would give them. It was drowned out by the howling as a group of the crazies rounded the corner of the house and spotted them.

The crowd (herd? pack?) surged forward and up the steps.

Grant and Ralph spun around and charged up the stairs, taking the maids with them.

Everything was banging elbows, stomping feet, clawing, pounding from the broomstick, and the sharp, fiery pain of human teeth.

Ralph broke free of the tangle and ran. He yanked a door open and kept running.

He charged through the bedroom, down a hall, and into a closet. Someone (or something) was following him, clinging to him as his leg smarted – but he slammed the closet door on it until it let go.

Shaking in his hands, his legs, and everywhere, he twisted the doorknob and leaned backward to hold it closed.

Screams, thumps, and bangs came from outside. Maybe the two Maids from Hell were beating the tar out of the crazies. Maybe Grant had made it inside, and was looking for a hiding place, too.

Ralph remembered the auditorium. He remembered the door slammed in his face, and the rattle and crash of furniture piling up against him.

A weight fell against the closet door, and a howl shook the wood paneling and the cold metal knob under Ralph’s hands.

He choked on a swallow and braced himself against the doorframe…determined to let nothing in.

Nothing at all.

He had no way to measure time in the pitch blackness. Finally, the screams died down. Even the clomping of feet and moans died down.

Crashes sounded in the distance, and then those went away, as well. Sirens wailed on the edge of hearing.

Ralph’s leg throbbed, and his shoulders and arms ached. One wrist stung. He couldn’t stay here forever.

Easing the door open a crack, he snuck a peek at the corridor.

A patch of blood stained the carpet, but that was all.

Good thing the carpet was pink. Maybe it would clean up okay.

Ralph opened the door the rest of the way and tip-toed forward. Pain flared in his calf, and he crouched to examine it.

The light from the windows was a rosy purple. What time was it? Where was everyone?

He dragged his pant-leg up and twisted to see his leg.

Clear, bloody teeth marks showed in his calf – already swollen and red. He’d better get that cleaned and wrapped up.

There was another bite on his forearm. That one didn’t look as deep, but there was more blood because the attacker had scraped a bunch of skin off.

Ralph held his breath to fight the urge to puke, and limped down the hall, looking for a bathroom.

He found one a few doors down, and slipped inside.

It was empty of people, too – like the rest of the house – and he washed his wounds and wrapped them in some towels he found. He tied the towels down with ace bandages, then ventured out into the house again.

Coming to the bedroom, he looked around. The glass doors had been smashed, and the vanity had been knocked over. He went to the phone, but it had been ripped out of the wall.

He tip-toed onto the balcony to see if anyone was nearby.

For all the blood and…ick…around, there were no bodies.

Well, there was one figure in the yard below. It wore a torn maid’s dress, and wandered back and forth between a couple trees…moaning softly.

The sun was setting behind the trees, and dusk was gathering under the leaves.

Ralph stepped backward into the house.

Someone was coming down the hallway.

Stomach twisting, Ralph knelt behind the bed – his injuries smarting as he did so.

Someone stumbled into the room – Grant.

Before Ralph could get his name to his lips, he saw the bite marks covering Grant’s arms…and the blood streaming from his missing ear.

Grant looked at him — his eyes were white and glassy and empty.

Grant snarled and lurched forward, arms out to grab.

Ralph snatched the first thing his hands found – it was the short-handled broom – and smacked Grant in the face.

Grant growled and lunged again.

Ralph jabbed him in the stomach, then in the mouth, then kicked him in the chest so that Grant sprawled backward onto the floor.

Ralph jumped onto the bed, then grabbed the top of the armoire. He couldn’t quite get on top of it – but his weight unbalanced it, and it started to tip.

As Grant was howling and trying to get up, Ralph leaped off the top of the armoire, falling onto the bed.

As he bounced gently on the overstuffed mattress, the armoire crashed onto the top of Grant.

Grant squirmed and growled, wiggling to try to get free.

Ralph got off the bed on the opposite side, and headed for the door to the hall.

There had to be a car here somewhere – and keys. Even if he hadn’t passed driver’s ed yet, he was in no condition to be walking the streets.

Why wasn’t he like the others? Why hadn’t his bites make him crazy?

Maybe he wasn’t injured badly enough? Maybe he would turn when he died? But all the zombie books said that when you got bit, you turned…either in about five minutes, or at least in a week or two.

He shivered. He didn’t want to end up like that. No one did.

But as long as he was still himself, and didn’t feel a hungering for human flesh or anything weird like that, he would try to stay alive.

As he crept through the darkened house, searching for the attached garage it surely had, he thought back to that morning, when his only worry was the Spanish test.

Which he’d probably missed by several hours.

So he was going to die and flunk Spanish. Great.


Chapter 1—Ralph Royster-Doyster Meets Zombies — Kimia WoodKimia Wood currently lives somewhere in the American Midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates on her latest reading and writing adventures.

“Transmutation of Shadow” Chapter 1

"Transmutation of Shadow" Chapter 1 — Kimia WoodCheck out the first chapter of my upcoming action-adventure Transmutation of Shadow! Meet Eric Kedzierski, psionic human and assassin extraordinaire…and, yes, his last name is very “long, ugly, and Polish” (his words).

Subscribe to the mailing list to be alerted as soon as it’s ready for publishing! (We’re currently waiting on beta reader feedback…)

It’s now available for preorder! Find at your favorite retailer…or get the paperback now!


Business As Usual

In which I kill somebody.

I eyed the two-lane country road, twenty yards below me.

“Target is four minutes out,” came Oscar’s voice through the plug in my ear.

“Roger,” I said, low toned.

Combat mics are designed to pick up soft voices. Of course, I was the only human being in about two miles of the spot. I’d made sure of that when I first arrived.

I double-checked my handiwork on the tree. It was already dead, leaning slightly toward the incline and the road. A storm had recently passed through, as the lightening-scorched poplar a hundred feet to my right showed, so the set-up was more believable.

I had weakened the base of the dead tree with a focused energy lance, and now all it would need was a concentrated mental shove. The age of the tree, and the lightening in the area, would both discourage anyone from analyzing for psionic scorches.

“Target three minutes out,” said Oscar.

I knelt at the base of my tree, the better to see the road through a gap in the foliage. My form-hugging combat suit protected my knees from the damp grass.

“Any word on the escort?” I asked.

“Armored SUV, three bodyguards, one driver,” said Oscar, from the data pulled up on his computer screen in the command center at Langley. “Chase vehicle about eight minutes behind, looks like, so you’ll have to hustle.”

I nodded to myself. The branches I had tossed onto the curve of the road fifty yards away would look like storm debris, and would make the car slow down.

“Three bodyguards,” I muttered. “Oil sheiks are paranoid, huh?”

“I think anybody who makes it onto our list is paranoid,” Oscar answered. “After all, it’s not just the United States he’s ticked off over the years. I’m sure there are some rival oil kings who’ve lost minions or trade deals to him. Maybe he’s responsible for that ambassador we lost in the Middle East. I don’t know; they don’t tell me these things.”

I adjusted my goggles, switching to thermal vision to make sure no stray cars were coming. The last thing I needed at the moment was a civilian blundering in to the set-up.

“Not my problem. I don’t make the big decisions,” I said.

My handler of many years said nothing. It’d been a standing inside joke between us: we don’t get paid enough to decide who should die. That’s for the bureaucrats who run the Agency to do. Got a complaint? Go talk to Congress.

Car engine. With a directed psionic ping, I received feedback in one of my goggles for movement telemetry.

Sure enough, they were moving around the corner. They slowed at the tree branches, and lumbered carefully around the curve.

“American car,” I whispered to Oscar.

“Huh?”

“It’s a GMC. Are you sure –?”

“Look, the spooks have been tracking them for weeks. Yes, it’s the right car. Go for it!”

The SUV cautiously picked up speed. The driver was being careful, given the hilly terrain.

Digital overlays in my goggles gave me the timing. With all the technology, this job was hardly a challenge —

I lanced the tree, giving it an energized shove with my hand for good measure. The tree crashed into the road, and the SUV plowed into it, squealing as the driver tried to apply the brakes.

As I sprinted down the hill from my hiding place, I was already feeling out the lock. Very standard stuff…I mean, couldn’t a corrupt Arab tyrant invest in a little more complicated door lock?

At the touch of my finger, an electrical pulse overrode the car’s computer, and I yanked the rear door open.

My other hand cracked the top on the vial, and nonlethal gas blew into the car. My glance flitted between the unconscious faces

“Target ID?” I hissed, checking with another psionic pulse that every heart was beating.

“Guy in the middle. Chase car is picking up speed; hurry.”

“Did you do a biometric –”

“It’s the guy in the middle, Shadow! I know my job.”

Holding my breath, I leaned into the car and un-clicked his seat belt. Touching – Ruthless Oil Despot was imitating American culture, with a very nice tailored suit.

With an energized heave, I flung him through the windshield. A psionic pulse, and my Heads Up Display flashed a confirmed death.

I relocked the door and sprinted back up the hill. There was nothing left to do. The tree left no traces. The car lock was un-breached.

And there were no collateral deaths.

“All right, Shadow. HUD says we’ve got a confirmed target elimination.”

I started the hike back to my car, pulled off the road and hidden on the other side of the hill. As I forged deeper into the trees, I heard the chase car’s engine purring around the corner.

“I guess the Middle East will be safer, now,” I said. “Though I can’t help wondering that they’d stage his death on American soil.”

Oscar said nothing for a moment. “Politics isn’t my game,” he said at last. “Especially foreign politics. It’s not our problem.”

Again, I nodded to myself, raising my goggles to see the variegated greenery around me unobstructed. A chipmunk popped its head out of a fallen log, stared at me, and ducked back in again.

With thermal vision, I’d be able to see his heat signature. But what would be the fun of that?

Besides, sometimes chipmunks and I both had to hide.


"Transmutation of Shadow" Chapter 1 — Kimia WoodKimia Wood was raised by an aspiring author, so spinning words and weaving plots is in her blood.

She currently lives with her family somewhere in the American midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella, Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates on her latest reading and writing exploits!

NaNo ’17: FERAL Sneak Peek!

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) 2017 is under way. Today is day 5, and as of this writing I am 9,509 words toward the target of 50,000.

I’m writing Book 6 of the White Mesa Chronicles: Feral. Books 1 and 2 are available now!NaNo 17: FERAL — Kimia Wood — NaNoWriMo

Here’s a taste of Feral (warning: SPOILERS for Books 2 through 5 😏):

Panic. Sam felt it coming on, and knew it for what it was.

Yesterday morning, the only thing he was worried about was keeping his little brothers in line while Dad ushered and Mom sat in the choir.

Then – boom. General Thaxton (one of the biggest men on the security council) had appeared, muttered some things to Dad, and whisked Sam away before his mother could know what was going on.

“99. Pay attention.”

Sam blinked and scribbled the temperature in the notebook, swallowing hard against the panic. Now he was holed up in the New Republic (his homeland’s biggest enemy) with 20 doses of z-killer (25 to 30 if he stretched them) and 50 to 60 z-germ patients ready to devolve into blood-lusting attack-beasts within the week. Continue reading

ZOMBIE-First Impressions

Book 2 of the White Mesa Chronicles is now available! Read the first chapter here, then find it at your favorite online retailer!

Smashwords (all ebook formats; #DRM-free)

Amazon (Kindle, DRM-free, or paperback – buy the hard copy, and get the Kindle version FREE via Kindle Matchbook!)

Barnes & Noble (epub)

Kobo (epub)

ZOMBIE cover

Ten to eight in the morning, the scavenge team started from White Mesa. Tommy sat in the truck bed, watching the settlement where he’d been born and raised roll past. The fields rippled with new growth, and he knew every farmhouse by name.

They passed the electrified fence, then the border fence that separated White Mesa from the wild lands beyond. Tommy shifted to stay out of the way as the team-members straightened into watch positions.

Captain Gibbs – ranking officer of Team Alpha and the team lead for the scavenge mission – looked at Tommy over the back of the seat. Continue reading

SOLDIER—A Friend in Need

The brutal truth: I procrastinated too much and didn’t get a post together for today.

The glossed-over story: Hooray! You get a special look at the first chapter of my latest release, Soldier (White Mesa Chronicles Book 1)!

(I checked, and the Amazon preview doesn’t go all the way to the end of the chapter, partly because of my little prologue thing.)

Anyway, enjoy! And if your curiosity is piqued, check out the book on Amazon (.mobi), Smashwords (most digital formats), Kobo.com, or Barnes & Noble (.epub)!


A Friend in Need

1330 hours

Tommy eased the motorcycle to a stop, his teeth clattering as they jolted over one last pothole.

He flicked a look over his shoulder, bracing as his “partner” jumped down and swung his rifle up and down the street.

“Clear,” called Ricco Dobson.

Tommy eased forward to be more in the lee of the torched cop car, and engaged the kickstand. Below the smashed roof lights and burned-out interior of the vehicle, the door still bore the peeling words Chicago Police. It had to be five decades since that had meant anything to anyone except history geeks like Tommy.

Creaking to a standing position, he also scanned their surroundings, tugging off his driving gloves. The road looked deserted except for the dog corpse they’d passed a dozen yards back, its mangey skin stretched tight over its skeleton. Three or four crows stared down at the two young men from tree branches or power poles, waiting ’til the coast was clear to return to their meal. Continue reading