I Love My Job

I love my job. It’s like my favorite thing in the world. Second to eating breakfast, and maybe sitting at Bradley’s feet while he pets my ears. Also when Bradley rides his bike, and has me run alongside him. That’s pretty good, too.

Oh – the job. We practice almost every week-end, when he takes me out to the training ground, and I have to find the hip-bone in the weeds…or perhaps a sack of blood placed at the base of a tree. At those times, it is all happiness and games, and when I find the target, Bradley gives me a treat, and tells me how good I am.

It was autumn time, when the air is full of dusty, musty scents and the ground is covered with crunching leaves, and my fur starts growing thicker against the colder outside air. Bradley drove us out to a job, and opened the door to let me out. I jumped to the pavement, my tail waving my excitement.

“Stay,” said Bradley, and knelt beside me.

I waited while he adjusted my vest, and raised my nose to the surroundings. The breeze ruffled my fur just a little, while pine, vegetation, gasoline, sweat, damp leaves, and more painted themselves across my nose.

“Good girl,” said Bradley, and stood up, giving my leash a little tug. “Heel.”

I trotted beside him, tongue lolling a bit, to suck up all those smells. Forest surrounded us, with the hills rising on two sides, reflecting sounds and wind down to us. We approached a group of people – perhaps fifteen or so. I recognized a few of them…they were friends of Bradley: Whiskey-breath, and Bacon-treats. I gave a wag or two of greeting.

Bacon-treats is the partner of Zeus. Zeus is a hound, and we sniffed nose to nose, very briefly, just to say ‘hello.’ Of course, then we each sat by our partners, because this was a job.

Bradley greeted the people, and they talked for a minute or two. Their voices sounded…strange. I don’t pretend to understand everything about human communication, but I could tell this was not a training test. It was not a game. Bradley was firm, an alpha in front of his pack, but some of the others were like puppies without their mothers.

A woman was there, and spoke with Bradley. She smelled of old fruit and grease…probably because her face was the color of paint, not the color of skin. She was the saddest of all. Her voice was quiet and calm, yes, but underneath it was howling and tears.

“Yes,” said Bradley. “After five days, it doesn’t look good. But we’ll do our best, and we won’t give up hope.”

He reached down and rubbed my head.

The woman held a piece of paper with a boy’s face on it. She looked down at the paper, and the sadness and tension inside her seemed to ripple out to everyone else.

“Are we ready?” asked Bradley – and again, he sounded like the firm alpha, like he had everything under control.

I stood up and wagged my tail to show I was ready.

Another car drove into the parking lot, and Chocolate got out with her partner. Chocolate is a lab, and she tries her best, but she is still very young, and likes birds very much.

“Come,” said Bradley, and led me with the others toward the trees. Chocolate was on one side of us, and Zeus on the other, and the people formed up in a line, up and down, to head into the trees together.

Bradley took off my leash, and said, “Daisy – search!”

I stuck my nose out, craning my neck. A thousand different odors washed over me, but I focused. Tangy, smoky, sweaty – Mr. Whiskey-breath was off to our left. He had not been drinking today, probably because he was on the job.

Spicy, savory…the pine trees had dropped thousands of needles, and every step released a bit of their sap to the air. Foul, soiled…a squirrel had died, somewhere to the right. That was not important…only human smells mattered.

I forged on into the forest, step by step, sniff by sniff. The ground rose before us, with occasional boulders to climb and logs to crawl around. All the while, Bradley stayed right behind me, his boots crunching sticks and leaves, his breathing quickening when we had to climb a steeper slope.

Time wore on, but I do not give up. I have never given up. Sometimes, Bradley calls me, and we go home without finding any blood or bones. But I do not give up. Even if something is buried under several feet of dirt, I can find it. I am very good at my job.

The ground beneath us was damp with a rain that had passed through the day before. Scents were heightened – but that made it harder, in some ways, because everything was more so. I paused on top of a boulder, nose in the air, sorting through everything the breeze brought me. Earthy, salty, spicy, sweet…the forest took shape around me.

“Hey!” called Chocolate. “Something died!”

I knew something died. I’m not an idiot. But it was just a rabbit. That wasn’t important. Several people snapped and crunched their way through the underbrush toward Chocolate, but I knew there was nothing to look at. Rabbits do not matter.

A chipmunk darted across my path and under some bushes. He did not matter. A bird cawed high above us, but it did not matter, either. Only the search mattered. Only finding the target would make Bradley happy.

He grunted behind me as he climbed up a slope. He slipped in mud and snarled, before catching himself and giving a sigh that said, ‘It’s all right.’

But…everything was not all right. We had to find the target. The lady who smelled of old fruit had a lost puppy locked up in her chest, and although Bradley tried not to act like it, he felt it was there, too. Like times when I am searching, and he loses sight of me, and doesn’t know where I am… At those times, he calls my name, and he is anxious and scared and a little angry in his voice. I hate those times. To make Bradley happy…that is everything.

I stopped again. Bushes twisted their branches together across our way. Rotten berries, and wormy logs, and ancient, ancient droppings lay there, buried underneath.

Bradley came up behind me, breathing like he does when he rides his bike.

“I don’t think he could have come through here, girl,” he said. “It’s too thick. Unless…”

He didn’t go on, so I couldn’t guess what he meant. But I still hadn’t found the target.

I found a place of thinner branches, and pushed my way through. On, on, until the light changed, and I stopped for a drink at a little stream that ran down the hill. Bradley took out a crinkle-wrapper, but it was a treat for him, not for me. I still had work to do.

Something was strange about that stream. Something tasted human about it, like when I lick Bradley’s face. I turned my nose this way and that. Something…something was not right. I smelled no bones, no bear cache. Maybe…blood. Maybe just a little bit of…fresh blood. Human blood. Human snot.

I forced my tired legs, and climbed up the rocks, following the stream. Something was in the water, that was for sure. But still, the breeze was loaded with too many other things.

The sounds of Bradley grew fainter behind me, but I pressed on. Up ahead, a pile of rocks blocked the path. The stream flowed down the face of a rock that stood straight up, higher than Bradley’s head – but there was also a hole beside the water…a crevice where two rocks leaned together. Something rustled inside that crevice…something that sounded like clothes and smelled like child.

I sprinted the last few yards, and dropped to a crouch to crawl into the hole. Inside, sheltered by the rocks, was a spot a little warmer and drier than the rest. Yes! There was fresh blood, here (but not very much), and tears, and mucus, and even urine – all the human fluids! – and at the center of them, a warm little bundle that rustled in clothes and whimpered like a puppy when he heard me coming. A human child.

He smelled like the lady of old fruit and grease. He didn’t smell like old fruit, and he didn’t smell like grease, but he smelled like something else…like underneath all of that, the lady had another smell that she was trying to cover up…like her true smell was a bone she had buried in a safe place. But this boy matched that smell.

I snuffled the child, and licked his arm. Sure enough, he had a scratch, sweet with blood, but it wasn’t very big. He burbled at me, again, but it was only sadness and fear. He was not sick…I know the taste of sickness-mucus. Bradley was sick and lay on the coach for many days. When I licked his face, he pushed me away, and didn’t even get up to feed me. Instead, he ripped open a plastic corpse of food on the linoleum and I fed myself, eating and puking and eating and puking as I desired. Bradley was very angry about the puking when he got well, which I never completely understood. Why else did he give me the plastic corpse if not so he would have company?

Where was I? Ah, yes. The child. He felt my face, and I licked his hands, and then he grabbed my ears and cried some more. I wasn’t completely happy to have his tears and snot all rubbed in my fur, but he was just a puppy after all…and trembling with weakness. I forgave him. The poor thing had not eaten in some time, and had obviously been frightened for a while.

“Daisy!”

Bradley was calling. I am supposed to sit by a corpse when I find it. But this was not a corpse. Did it still count as a target? Would Bradley be happy?

“Daisy! Come!”

I could not come. I had this child. He had his arms around my neck, and his face against one of my ears. What could I do?

“Bradley,” I shouted. “You come to me!”

“Daisy! Come here!”

I couldn’t come. What could I do?

“I’m in here!” I shouted again. “Come to me!”

The child called out, too. His voice was raspy with thirst, and his lungs weak with the emptiness inside, but he called out all the same.

The little draft of air where the opening was stopped, and then I heard Bradley’s voice inside the rocks with us. “Hello? Who’s there?”

I have never been a mother, never had the opportunity, but something maternal awakened in me, and I fastened my jaws around the boy’s shoulder. Crawling backwards, I pulled him down, towards Bradley. The boy clung to my vest, crawling after me. And then Bradley got out of the way, and I crawled backward out of the crevice, and watched Bradley reach in, and pull the boy out into his arms.

“It’s all right,” said Bradley. “You’re safe, now. What’s your name?”

He sat down on a boulder and set the boy on his knees, while the boy whimpered like a puppy crawling into the cover of its mother. Bradley stroked his head, and got out a bottle of his exercise-drink, and a crinkly-wrapper treat, and fed them to the boy.

He got on his radio that chirps and crackles, and said, “Guys, you’ll never believe what I just found. About twenty degrees north-east, you should find a stream, about a yard across. Follow that up about a hundred yards, and you should see an outcrop.”

The radio talked back to him for a moment.

“Guys,” said Bradley. “It’s Davie Moss. I’ve got him right here, and he’s alive! We’ve got a recovery on our hands, boys. Get in here, and we’ll get him home.”

If I could only express what his voice sounded like. I tried to sit like a dignified dog, but my tail was thrashing the ground in expressions of celebration. Bradley’s voice was full of that celebration, as if a thrashing tail could have a voice. I could hardly contain myself.

Bradley reached in his backpack again, and pulled out a very special plastic bag. He opened it, and tossed me a treat – one of the chewy, bacon treats just like Mr. Bacon-treats gives us. Zeus gets them all the time, but I only get them for special occasions.

Bradley held the bag out for the boy, and the boy held a treat out to me. I ate it right out of his hand, and he giggled. Finally, his voice was starting to wag. His breathing was more like normal breathing now, not shallow and tense. He had some more of Bradley’s exercise drink, and when he spoke again, his voice had lost the raspy sound.

I flicked my ears around to capture the sound of boots cracking sticks. Coming up the hill below us, two men came into view. One of them was Mr. Whiskey-breath.

They called out to Bradley and the child, and their voices also rang with joy. They almost bounced over the rocks toward us, their whole bodies tails proclaiming celebration.

Never had a job ended like this. Bradley is always happy with me, of course, and I always get my treat, when I lead him to a skull, or a chewed hand, or a splash of blood. That is the job, and Bradley is glad I do it. But this was different.

They crowded around the boy, and barked into the radio, sharing their joy with the partners we couldn’t see. At length, they shared backpacks around, and Bradley lifted him up to his friend’s back.

“All right,” he said. “Let’s get you back to your mom.”

The boy chirped and chattered – I suppose like a puppy coming home after a full day of play – and they headed down the hill, going slowly and carefully over the wet rocks with the man’s two feet.

Bradley knelt beside me and hugged my neck. “Good girl, Daisy,” he said. “Good girl.”

I like my job. I’m very good at it. But this day was my favorite. Maybe I’ll never really understand why, but I savor the way Bradley spoke to me…the way he sounded really, truly, unbelieveabley happy.


For further study:

Cadaver Dog Training, Western Carolina University

K9 SAR [canine search-and-rescue]: What’s Involved with Getting Involved:

See how cadaver dogs are trained to help investigators solve cases:

14 Dog Breeds With a Nose for Sniffing Out Crime

Wilderness Search and Rescue Dogs:Wilderness Search and Rescue Dogs: A Day in the Life:

“The Ranger of Smylt” – Book Announcement!

New book time! If you’re a fan of this blog, you already know Elwyn the Paranoid Ranger, my character from our AD&D campaign. Well, I’ve written a short story (if 50,000 words is “short”) about a side adventure he has a few years from now (Flanaess-time).

The Ranger of Smylt

Fourteen-year-old Jarin finds a badly wounded man in the woods, and takes him in. Little does heThe Ranger of Smylt - Kimia Wood Author suspect the stranger is a Level 12 Ranger Lord, and his simple act of kindness could be the key to saving his entire village.

If you like fantasy adventures, especially “LitRPG,” you might like this book. If you like the world and lore of the Flanaess (home of Greyhawk), you might like this book. If you like slow-burn stories that build to dramatic climaxes, you might like this book. If you like memorable side characters and stories that make you laugh, you might love this book.

If you like father-son dynamics and stories that honestly portray the differences in how men and women see the world, this book is for you. If you like friendships that grow realistically from little moments, this book is for you. If you like raw battle scenes, and heroic moments – this book is for you!

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(I’m trying out Smashwords’ feature for letting readers choose their own price, so if you visit their site, you could get it for free…or pay $20, if you decide my work has really enriched your life, and you want to encourage me. Whatever you like. I think this story is really great, and I want as many people to enjoy it as possible.) Continue reading

The Blonde in Room 128

Todd checked over his shoulder both ways so no one would see him at the alleyway entrance. So far, his buddy at work had been correct.

The address appeared to be an apartment building with heavy curtains in all the windows.

He drew a long breath, winced at the shooting pain in his temple, and checked the surroundings once more before heading inside.

The small lobby was empty except for a guy behind a desk at the far end, like in a motel.

Todd swallowed again and crossed the room.

The attendant looked up as he approached, but said nothing.

Todd felt like a fool, but his wife had insisted he come here. He swallowed again and tried to smile.

“Hi, I’d like a – an appointment,” he said.

“Right,” said the attendant, opening a big ledger in a blue three-ring binder. “What’s your pleasure?”

Todd double-checked the little brochure his work-buddy had given him…the one with head-shots of a dozen attractive young ladies.

“I’d like a – uh – blonde? With a…pretty face.”

He felt stupid saying it, but that’s the way it worked – according to the brochure.

“Right,” said the attendant again. “That’s $200 up front.”

Todd pulled out his wallet, and wiped his hands on the front of his shirt so he could pull out the cash.

The attendant took the money and slipped it into a little metal cash-box.

“Down the hall, room 128. Wait there.”

And with that the man pulled out a copy of New England Journal of Medicine and ignored him.

Todd shuffled down the hall. At least it was well-lit. Strange thumps and hums came from behind the closed doors.

At number 128, he hesitated…but he was committed now. Stroking his throbbing temple again, he slipped in and closed the door behind him.

A bright fluorescent white bathed the whole room, where a spotless white table the size of a gurney stood in the middle of the room – in front of an enormous white machine like a giant donut. It looked just like the photos on the internet.

Behind a curtain in the corner, Todd changed into the hospital gown he found in a plastic package on top of the table…then stood watching the machine, rubbing his head and licking his lips.

There was a knock on the door, immediately followed by a young man in a long white lab coat. Todd noted, with a desperate instinct to find humor in the situation, that the young man was blond.

“Head trouble, eh?” said the stranger, making straight to the LCD screen on the side of the machine.

“I got a sudden headache last weekend,” said Todd, tip-toeing up to the table. “My wife thought I should get it checked out, so I went down to our local medical clinic.”

The young man tapped away at the screen, and Todd licked his lips.

“They told me I should get an MRI scan, but the wait time would be –“

“Let me guess,” said the man in the lab coat. “Three months.”

“Five, actually,” said Todd.

“Ha! I’ve heard six months to a year. Colonoscopies are even worse.”

Todd licked his lips again. “Are you a doctor?”

“Nah, I just run the machine.” The stranger gestured at the table. “Take a load off. When we’re done, it’ll take fifteen minutes or so to load your results on a CD…and then you do whatever you want with it. If you want a doc to give his opinion, that’s another 150, and you have to come back in a couple days; we’ll give you the CD with a doctor’s notes.”

Todd lay down on the table. The stranger flicked a switch, and the whole platform started moving, until his head was inside the hole of the donut.

“A-Aren’t you afraid I’ll turn you in?” he asked, just to make conversation.

“Do you want to do that, or do you want an MRI?” asked the technician with a chuckle. “Think about it — you can either get us for practicing private medicine…or you can actually get the benefit of our services.”

“And you have real, registered doctors who work with you, too?” asked Todd.

“Face it: the National Medical System doesn’t pay peanuts. Plenty of qualified, university-trained diagnosticians are happy to make a little extra analyzing test results.”

“And if they’re wrong, the patient can’t complain — we don’t know who the doctor is, and we can’t admit where we got the test.”

The technician peeked into the donut and smiled. “You wanna live dangerously? Or you want to wait a year for an X-ray? By that time, if it’s cancer or an aneurism or something, you might be dead anyway.”

Todd held up his hand, anything to delay the strange machine from making noises. “What do you get out of it?”

The technician shrugged. “A little pocket change – and I get to make a difference in people’s lives. I actually run an ultrasound machine in normal life, but the pay – plus the regulations – are murder.”

He patted the machine. “Right, I’m going to warm up our lovely Blondie here. There’ll be a humming noise, but you won’t feel a thing. Just take it easy –“ He grinned. “Blondie will treat you well.”


The Blonde in Room 128 — Kimia WoodKimia Wood was raised by an aspiring author, so spinning words and weaving plots is in her blood.

She currently lives somewhere in the American Midwest with her family…including the brother people mistake for her boyfriend. She’s bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates of her latest reading and writing adventures.

SHADOW Now Up for Preorder!

Yes, Transmutation of Shadow – my action-packed story of government intrigue, sci-fi mental abilities, and the assassin-turned-fugitive trying to uncover the truth – is now finalized!

You can order the paperback right away – or preorder the ebook from your favorite retailer! (Amazon doesn’t have preorders available for paperbacks.)

It launches on MY BIRTHDAY April 27, 2020 (I’m turning 27, so it’s my “golden birthday”).

More good news: if you do preorder, you can message me with your order code and/or which retailer you used, and I’ll send you a collection of deleted scenes and alternate endings! (I’m thinking of them like “alternate time-line” versions of how the story went!)

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A super-soldier assassin. Wrongful deaths. An agency cover-up that endangers a child.

Eric is the best. (Okay, maybe not the best, but one of the best.) He can walk invisibly through a crowd, scale buildings, become anyone. He kills his country’s enemies with precision and without hesitation.

But there’s another side to that coin – accuracy. And some of his computer-fed, handler-approved, briefing-verified victims weren’t on The List.

(Well, obviously they were on someone’s List…just not the right list.)

When Eric finds his own Agency targeting him, he determines to uncover the truth for himself…no matter where it leads. No matter what the cost.

Even if it makes him the bad guy.

As exciting as The Matrix, as adorable as One-Punch Man, Transmutation of Shadow is the pulse-pounding, heart-touching adventure you’ve been waiting for!

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“Transmutation of Shadow” Chapter 1

"Transmutation of Shadow" Chapter 1 — Kimia WoodCheck out the first chapter of my upcoming action-adventure Transmutation of Shadow! Meet Eric Kedzierski, psionic human and assassin extraordinaire…and, yes, his last name is very “long, ugly, and Polish” (his words).

Subscribe to the mailing list to be alerted as soon as it’s ready for publishing! (We’re currently waiting on beta reader feedback…)

It’s now available for preorder! Find at your favorite retailer…or get the paperback now!


Business As Usual

In which I kill somebody.

I eyed the two-lane country road, twenty yards below me.

“Target is four minutes out,” came Oscar’s voice through the plug in my ear.

“Roger,” I said, low toned.

Combat mics are designed to pick up soft voices. Of course, I was the only human being in about two miles of the spot. I’d made sure of that when I first arrived.

I double-checked my handiwork on the tree. It was already dead, leaning slightly toward the incline and the road. A storm had recently passed through, as the lightening-scorched poplar a hundred feet to my right showed, so the set-up was more believable.

I had weakened the base of the dead tree with a focused energy lance, and now all it would need was a concentrated mental shove. The age of the tree, and the lightening in the area, would both discourage anyone from analyzing for psionic scorches.

“Target three minutes out,” said Oscar.

I knelt at the base of my tree, the better to see the road through a gap in the foliage. My form-hugging combat suit protected my knees from the damp grass.

“Any word on the escort?” I asked.

“Armored SUV, three bodyguards, one driver,” said Oscar, from the data pulled up on his computer screen in the command center at Langley. “Chase vehicle about eight minutes behind, looks like, so you’ll have to hustle.”

I nodded to myself. The branches I had tossed onto the curve of the road fifty yards away would look like storm debris, and would make the car slow down.

“Three bodyguards,” I muttered. “Oil sheiks are paranoid, huh?”

“I think anybody who makes it onto our list is paranoid,” Oscar answered. “After all, it’s not just the United States he’s ticked off over the years. I’m sure there are some rival oil kings who’ve lost minions or trade deals to him. Maybe he’s responsible for that ambassador we lost in the Middle East. I don’t know; they don’t tell me these things.”

I adjusted my goggles, switching to thermal vision to make sure no stray cars were coming. The last thing I needed at the moment was a civilian blundering in to the set-up.

“Not my problem. I don’t make the big decisions,” I said.

My handler of many years said nothing. It’d been a standing inside joke between us: we don’t get paid enough to decide who should die. That’s for the bureaucrats who run the Agency to do. Got a complaint? Go talk to Congress.

Car engine. With a directed psionic ping, I received feedback in one of my goggles for movement telemetry.

Sure enough, they were moving around the corner. They slowed at the tree branches, and lumbered carefully around the curve.

“American car,” I whispered to Oscar.

“Huh?”

“It’s a GMC. Are you sure –?”

“Look, the spooks have been tracking them for weeks. Yes, it’s the right car. Go for it!”

The SUV cautiously picked up speed. The driver was being careful, given the hilly terrain.

Digital overlays in my goggles gave me the timing. With all the technology, this job was hardly a challenge —

I lanced the tree, giving it an energized shove with my hand for good measure. The tree crashed into the road, and the SUV plowed into it, squealing as the driver tried to apply the brakes.

As I sprinted down the hill from my hiding place, I was already feeling out the lock. Very standard stuff…I mean, couldn’t a corrupt Arab tyrant invest in a little more complicated door lock?

At the touch of my finger, an electrical pulse overrode the car’s computer, and I yanked the rear door open.

My other hand cracked the top on the vial, and nonlethal gas blew into the car. My glance flitted between the unconscious faces

“Target ID?” I hissed, checking with another psionic pulse that every heart was beating.

“Guy in the middle. Chase car is picking up speed; hurry.”

“Did you do a biometric –”

“It’s the guy in the middle, Shadow! I know my job.”

Holding my breath, I leaned into the car and un-clicked his seat belt. Touching – Ruthless Oil Despot was imitating American culture, with a very nice tailored suit.

With an energized heave, I flung him through the windshield. A psionic pulse, and my Heads Up Display flashed a confirmed death.

I relocked the door and sprinted back up the hill. There was nothing left to do. The tree left no traces. The car lock was un-breached.

And there were no collateral deaths.

“All right, Shadow. HUD says we’ve got a confirmed target elimination.”

I started the hike back to my car, pulled off the road and hidden on the other side of the hill. As I forged deeper into the trees, I heard the chase car’s engine purring around the corner.

“I guess the Middle East will be safer, now,” I said. “Though I can’t help wondering that they’d stage his death on American soil.”

Oscar said nothing for a moment. “Politics isn’t my game,” he said at last. “Especially foreign politics. It’s not our problem.”

Again, I nodded to myself, raising my goggles to see the variegated greenery around me unobstructed. A chipmunk popped its head out of a fallen log, stared at me, and ducked back in again.

With thermal vision, I’d be able to see his heat signature. But what would be the fun of that?

Besides, sometimes chipmunks and I both had to hide.


"Transmutation of Shadow" Chapter 1 — Kimia WoodKimia Wood was raised by an aspiring author, so spinning words and weaving plots is in her blood.

She currently lives with her family somewhere in the American midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella, Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates on her latest reading and writing exploits!

“Shadow”—A Christian Jason Bourne?

What makes my written work stand out from others in the genre?

"Shadow"—A Christian Jason Bourne? — Kimia Wood

Image credit: imdb.com

Ha ha! That implies that I’ve actually read books in my genre…or that I know what genre I’m writing in…

But seriously, my latest work (Transmutation of Shadow) is an action-packed secret agent mystery…sort of in the vein of Robert Ludlum’s The Bourne Identity…or the movie The Matrix (no, really, a beta reader said it reminded him of The Matrix…yas!)

And yet it’s different. How is it different? How have I made this genre my own? If you love running-and-gunning spies, but also want to train your palate with clean, uplifting books, read on:

Action and Adventure

Books in this genre are usually full of fight scenes and dramatic chases…and Shadow is no exception!

A quick pace follows our hero through the pages, as he hides under the radar, running from people he used to call friends. I’m no Tom Clancy, but I managed to slip in some cool spy maneuvers (like switching clothes and cars repeatedly!).

How is my writing different?

Mr. Ludlum’s fight scenes can be a little…bone-jarring. While I don’t try to gloss over the bloody realism of combat, I also don’t dwell on it. My story doesn’t need it. In the words of one critiquer, I handle everything from death to violence with “grace and elegance”.

Let’s face it: my main character is an assassin. His government pays him to “eliminate” undesirable elements…AKA to murder people.

I think this is one of the things that made my parents leery when I first started writing it – but they both agree that I’ve dealt with the subject with maturity (but not gratuity) and cheerfulness (but not glorification).

Language

Robert Ludlum, Tom Clancy, Alistair MacLean, and others in their genre are prone to “spicy words.” Let’s face it: in the world of soldiers and spies, terrorists and mafia dons, you won’t catch many people saying, “Good golly, Miss Molly!” when they stub their toe.

I’m from a different culture.

To be specific, the homeschooling, church-y culture where “Jeez” is too strong, and “Good grief gravy!” is for when you’re really, truly frustrated.

I gotta snicker a little here, because this is an area where my first line of beta readers really raked me over the coals.

“He can’t say ‘shucks’! He’s in the Army Special Forces, for crying out loud. If the guys in boot camp caught him saying ‘shucks’ they would beat him up!”

So…I took advantage of the glorious tool of obfuscation, and peppered the manuscript with “I swore” or “I muttered a curse.”

Realism + opaque writing = something you can give your teen without blushing!

Sex

Robert Ludlum is especially bad this way, but Tom Clancy also doesn’t shy from a sex scene or two.

What about the Kimia Wood books?

Hmm, yeah, there is none.

My character doesn’t even have a girlfriend. And if he did, I have a moral compunction against including any illicit material. Just check out my full-fledged rant against romance fiction. After frothing at the mouth about characters sniffing each other like wild dogs, the last thing I’m going to do is give my book a steamy scene.

While I tend to associate the tag “clean” with sickly sweet little Amish romances or quirky romantic mysteries with brightly-colored covers, I can’t deny the strict reading of the label applies to my own work. If you’re not “dirty,” you’re probably “clean.”

Tone"Shadow"—A Christian Jason Bourne? — Kimia Wood

Alistair MacLean’s work are tense, but largely upbeat and empowering adventures. Tom Clancy’s are highly technical, with tension slowly and deliberately constructed from all sides.

Robert Ludlum stares deep into the abyss, and his work is accordingly heavy on the gritty realism of his topic. And Larry Correia, while he sprinkles humor and cool world-building throughout his books, knows how to ratchet the tension up to eleven and just keep cranking.

How am I the same but different?

"Shadow"—A Christian Jason Bourne? — Kimia Wood

Image from Pixabay

My book has been compared to The Matrix and Equilibrium. While I’m thrilled that my fight scenes evoked these same emotions, the tone of these movies is not what I was going for…nor (I think) what I achieved.

Both these movies have greyscale palates, with lots of dark costumes, rainy sets, and oppressive atmospheres.

While my protagonist is in a lot of danger (and goes through some pretty rough experiences) I wanted to stay upbeat and hopeful (with, dare I say, touches of humor?).

This isn’t your fluffy-creampuffs read…but it isn’t a GRIMDARK where you’ll leave the story feeling dirty and depressed. We put the “fun” in “run for your life”!

Theology

The best books show an honest picture of human nature, perhaps draw images from it to help us understand ourselves…and perhaps even say something profound about the universe.

Some authors (like Ian Fleming) simply provide some wish-fulfillment and let the audience have an exciting adventure. Others (like Robert Ludlum) paint vivid, honest pictures of humanity and the societies we build.

How do my works compare?

Transmutation of Shadow is fun, sure. A romp that lets us run for our lives, hide in plain sight, and experience the thrill of daring escapes all from the comfort of our reading chair.

But I tried to go deeper. As I’ve gotten older, and my writing has grown, I’ve decided “I don’t want to be room noise” – I want to say something worth saying.

As I let my conscientious Christian worldview inform my story-craft, I can deliver a story that’s about much more than a psionic assassin solving the mystery about himself…I tell a story about a killer forced to confront his own actions, to stop passing the buck, forced to find redemption.

Which only comes from Jesus.

As impressive as Clancy, Ludlum, and MacLean are, that’s a story I’ve never seen them tell."Shadow"—A Christian Jason Bourne? — Kimia Wood

Decide for Yourself!

Transmutation of Shadow is currently out with critique readers, but I plan to publish it some time this year. Stand by, and you can read this exciting science fiction/spy thriller with a humble yet determined protagonist for yourself!

It’s now available for preorder! Find at your favorite retailer…or get the paperback now!


"Shadow"—A Christian Jason Bourne? — Kimia WoodKimia Wood currently lives with her family somewhere in the American midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure novella Soldier! You’ll also receive periodic updates on her latest reading and writing adventures – including WHEN SHADOW PUBLISHES!

Author Newsletters–A Survey

Author Newsletters–A Survey — Kimia Wood

Blank stares do not equal book sales…

Marketing gurus will advise you to have an author newsletter. This keeps your fans engaged with your brand, updated on your latest works, and excited about your books.

Supposedly. But does it actually work?

I have no experience being a successful newsletter author. But I am a pretty experienced newsletter reader. So I thought I would go through the many newsletters I myself am subscribed to, and consider the elements of each.

What makes me more engaged with an author and their books? What turns me off? Well, fortunately I never delete my emails, because I was able to wade through several years’ worth of other authors’ newsletters, and draw some conclusions about my own habits.

This is obviously very personalized, but I think we can draw a couple broad lessons from this research:

TL;DR: Three Lessons to Keep in Mind

1) Giving away free stuff is an awesome pull to make people sign up, but it doesn’t necessarily translate to sales.

For years, I’ve been told that giving away a free book to people who sign up for your list is one of the best tricks in the business, and “the number one way to build your subscriber list”. But is this true?

I was pretty convicted by something Barb Drozdowich said in a recent #BookMarketingChat (on Twitter):


I know this is true, because it’s true of me. If you offer me free food, free t-shirt, free books, I’ll love it…but I get angry when people charge more that four or five dollars for an ebook. (Seriously…some people charge as much as ten dollars for an ebook novel. What insanity is that?!)

So, while you/we might get lots of “numbers” on our list with a strategy of bribery, are we attracting the clientele that will want to buy? Or do we have a strategy to convert the freebie-seekers into devoted, paying customers?

2) Personal rapport can make or break a brand.

Kristen Lamb can tell you that your “brand” is just how people view you and your product – or, the emotional reaction they have when they see your name.

McDonalds. Steven King. Doctor Strange.

I bet just those simple words communicate a lot, and you have some kind of emotional reaction to each one.

When you go on social media, your blog, your website, etc., people watch you. Maybe one day you snap at someone on Facebook…People see that. Even if you were stressed out that day, and aren’t normally rude like that, and the guy totally deserved it anyway – that single instance might form a large percentage of someone’s perception of you.

You’ll see below that I subscribed to some of these author lists because I “met” the author in some other context, liked who I perceived them to be, and wanted to give them that support (and stay in the loop about their projects).

For a couple other authors, their personality or their writing are so far from my cup of tea that I will never give them my business.

Not anybody’s fault, really. We just “aren’t made for each other.”

3) Connection is potential.

The ideal, of course, is a passionate fan who will buy all your books in hard copies (the better to treasure), tell all their friends about your books, and pounce on every newsletter hoping it contains good news about a new thing to read.

Compared to that, a lurker who sometimes, maybe opens the email and skims for pretty cover images isn’t that impressive.

But it’s a foot in the door.

You’ll notice that some of the authors below don’t send out consistent emails, or I wonder why I don’t unsubscribe because we really don’t have that much in common.

But as long as I’m still subscribed, we have a connection. It’s really depressing when only one or two people open your newsletters (and it’s your parents!) but at least there’s a chance.

Maybe one day they’ll be weeding through their inbox and say, “Oh, what is this? Maybe I’ll read it and find out…”

Or, even if an author’s normal genre isn’t for me, maybe they’ll branch out into [sci fi spy/murder mysteries with something-about-a-long-lost-brother] (fill in your own blank), and I’ll go hmmm…oooohh.

The EvidenceAuthor Newsletters–A Survey — Kimia Wood

In the following survey, I have included how I subscribed to the list, a brief summary of their brand and my relationship to them, and other details like where they host their email (hosting email on your official author domain is more professional than a free email address, just as having an official author website is more professional than just an Amazon Author Page, for example; another thing to keep in mind as we evaluate authors’ brands).

And now, if you really care to wade through the raw data…my case studies: Continue reading

Karpman Triangle or Christian Allegory?

Karpman Triangle or Christian Allegory?

I recently read a post talking about “Karpman’s drama triangle” – a theory that story characters arrange themselves into Hero, Victim, or Villain roles – and how this had a negative effect on stories and society. (It’s under Point 8.)

The post writer suggested making sure all characters had “agency” – or meaningful choice – within the story. This is important, as far as it goes…personal responsibility for actions is very important.

However, when I first heard her explain “Karpman’s drama triangle”, I said to myself, “Isn’t that exactly what we see in the Bible? Don’t stories follow this pattern so often because we’re resonating with the eternal story of creation?”

The Triangle of History

This triangle, as I understood it, talked about how someone would require rescuing, so someone else would rise to rescue him.

This is what we see in the Bible.Karpman Triangle or Christian Allegory? — Kimia Wood

We are in trouble. Deep trouble. Classic damsel-in-distress type stuff.

We (humanity) were born into a perfect world…but then the Villain struck! Yep – us, again.

(I didn’t say “Satan”, because that gives him too much cred. The world didn’t break because Satan disobeyed God…the whole universe broke because Adam disobeyed God! Thanks, Great-Granddad…)

So here we are (each individual human being), playing the Villain role (taking up arms against God and hurting things wherever we go) and the Victim role (hurting ourselves at every turn, and totally helpless to fix ourselves).

There’s nothing we can do to change this state of affairs. Nada. Trust me, humans have been trying for thousands upon thousands of years. We can’t patch up our relationship with God, and we can’t free ourselves from our own evil desires…just like addiction.

The whole human race is addicted to badness.

Enter: the Hero! Jesus. Son of God. Totally awesome, Lawful Good, and kick-butt (can I say that?!).

He humbled Himself, went through the famous “Dark Night of the Soul“, all that classic Hero stuff…literally died. Was dead for three days.

Then? Happily ever after! Jesus kicked death in the face and came alive again!

With the “dragon” slain, the “prince” “rode up on his horse” and asked the “damsel” if she would marry him!

So…will you say “I do”?

It’s not just the overarching story of salvation, either.

God cares about individual widows, too. Check out Deuteronomy 14 (yes Deuteronomy):

God is telling Israel about tithing – giving a tenth of your grain, your fruit, your wine, your produce to God so you remember that He gave you everything.

Then God tells them, every three years pile the tithe food in the middle of the city and let the widows, orphans, and foreigners (with no land inheritance, family network, etc.) eat their fill from it (Deut. 14:28-29).

See? Yes, God cares about rescuing his Church (Bride)…but He also cares about the “helpless” widows and orphans – the “victims” of unavoidable tragedy who don’t have the resources to help themselves.

He cares, and that’s why He commands His people to act as “heroes” in His name, extending aid to those worse off than ourselves.

Want an example from the New Testament? How about James 1:27? James’ theme is that talking the talk is worthless unless you walk the walk. (You say you believe in God? Super. The demons believe the same thing – and have the sense to be afraid of Him! Js. 2:19.)

That’s why James points out that God wants us to act out the faith we say we have by: being a “hero” to the “helpless”…the weak, tired, and alone. The “victims” of this sin-scorched world. (The “villain” being: ourselves again.)

Back to the Psychologists

Karpman wasn’t talking about God, though. He was a psychologist, trying to explain human relationships and human behavior through “Science!”.

And he’s right about one thing. When human beings try to mimic the role of God (Hero), we mess even that up.

Karpman and his friends called it things like “encouraging dependency”, “ignoring their own problems by focusing on helping others”, “taking advantage of the rescuer”, “perpetuating the victim’s feelings of helplessness”, and other things.

All of which is trying to turn something organic (a relationship) into something algorithmic (turning human interactions into a series of equations – which they’re not).

I think the Bible says it all much more succinctly:

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food…she took some and ate, and gave to her husband, and he ate. And the eyes of both were opened, and they saw that they were naked. (Gen. 3: 6-7)

There is none righteous – no, not one! No one understands…no one seeks for God! (Rom. 3: 10-11)

For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by His grace which is ours in Christ Jesus! (see Rom. 3: 21-24)

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth… (Rev. 21: 1)

Back to the Story Authors

Karpman Triange or Christian Allegory? — Kimia Wood

Image credit: destinypedia

I think I’ve figured out why I get all swoony over the Master Chief and Zavala (and Genos!). Because they are quintessential heroes – the definitive “good guys” – and in that way they mimic my own dear King Jesus.

So, I will proudly write stories about heroes rescuing…people who need rescuing. But I agree with the original poster that “character agency” is also very important.

After all, we got ourselves in this mess. No sneaky Devil forced us off the cliff of our own desires! We raced there all on our own, because we wanted what we couldn’t possibly have: to be God.

It also makes sense that Character Agency is important because God gave it to us! When a story denies characters agency, or denies them the reality of making bad choices or choices that matter, the story falls flat…because we instinctively know it doesn’t line up with our real experiences.

God doesn’t let us write the story, though. He is the Author of this interactive, choose-your-own-adventure we call “life”! We participate, but only within the bounds that He allows (Job 1:12, 2:6).

And this is where the sovereignty of God (fancy, church-word for “God’s the boss-man”) and free-will (not-so-fancy church-word for “we get a choice”) come together and hug and all the theologians go, “But I thought you two weren’t speaking to each other!”

Yes – God is totally in charge. AND – yes, each individual human being gets a choice in how their life will go.

How does that work? God hasn’t explained in detail…probably because our brains would explode if we tried to understand.

Just trust God that it works.

And keep trying to write stories and show how FULLY AWESOME He is…because that’s what it’s all about, m’kay?


Karpman Triangle or Christian Allegory? — Kimia WoodKimia Wood currently lives somewhere in the American midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a FREE e-copy of her post-apocalyptic adventure Soldier, plus periodic updates on her latest reading and writing exploits!

“Save the Cat” by Blake Snyder

"Save the Cat" by Blake Snyder — Kimia Wood As Mr. Snyder says in his prologue, “Why do we need another book about writing?” Apparently even in 2005 when he first published Save the Cat, you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting an eager, helpful guru determined to instruct young writer hopefuls in his way to plot, write, and sell.

So what makes Save the Cat any different, and why has it taken the industry by storm to be required reading for newbies and professionals alike?

I decided it was time to buy it and find out. Continue reading

White Mesa Hiatus + New Work-in-Progress

Sometimes You Need Something New

I typed the first words of the first scene of Book 1 in the White Mesa Chronicles on April 2, 2015. That day we were moving all the stuff out of our house (into Grandpa’s basement), and I sat on the carpet in the bedroom I grew up in to get in a few words amidst all the chaos. (Why? ‘Cause that’s the carpet where I nestled on the floor in the corner and thrashed out the lion’s share of Hayes and Hayes.)

White Mesa has been a great journey, trying to look forward to what life will be like after the U.S.A.’s death throes. I (with help from my family) got to construct an entire world, and populate it with people with motivations and thought-patterns different from my own!

When you get the cover done before writing the actual book…

But it’s time to move on.

I decided this after typing 1 and 3/4 first-drafts of Book 6: Feral. That’s 53,290 words of a NaNoWriMo draft, plus 27,490 words of a fresh “blind draft”. I found myself going days or weeks without looking at the file, and whenever I did sit down to work I had to drag the words out. I figured such uninspired dreck might well give readers the same sense of lethargy that it gave me…

So, we folded it up and put it on the shelf. Books 1 through 4 are out for your reading pleasure, and Book 5 has good bones. After a breath of fresh air, and turning my mind to new projects, I’ll be able to finish the last three books with more energy…more passion…more joy.

So What “New Project” Is Next?

I’m currently story-boarding the story of a perfectionist assassin who realizes he’s been given corrupt orders.

Yes, sweet little churchy Kimia is writing about an assassin.

I am the girl who brutally poisoned one of my leads in Sons of the King, and gave a teenage boy an OD in Hayes and Hayes. But it probably won’t be as bad as all that.

This is how I’m plotting it:

Winds of Change — Kimia Wood

Image from Pixabay

But this is probably how I’ll write it:

Winds of Change — Kimia Wood

Image from Pixabay

I once wrote a short story about ritualistic human sacrifice. Know how my dad responded? “Cute.” Yes, “cute”!

So despite my best efforts to be “gritty” and “realistic”, I doubt my style will be much different from the up-beat, family-oriented narrative you’ve come to know and expect from Hayes and Hayes to Renegade.

What’s this New Story Actually About?

Well, check out this first draft blurb and see what you think! 😊 (Then, come back when it’s actually written and find out how different it is from what we planned!)

Eric likes his job. Why not? He’s very good at it.

Get in. Don’t be seen. Dispatch the target. Exit. No collateral damage or stray casualties.

Sure, he’s killing people; but they’re bad people. Someone has to stop them and protect the rest of society. And with his amplified abilities, his agency has a track record of always taking out the right targets – and no one else.

Until the night he follows his tactical Heads-Up into a room…and discovers his target is a seven-year-old boy.

As his faith in the system crumbles, his protests to his handler yield no answers. This is the correct target…well, somebody’s target.

Eric aborts the mission – and finds everyone he used to work with shooting at him.

He was always one of the “good guys”. What’s going on? He’s determined to keep protecting the innocent…but can he?

And will he live long enough to try?


Kimia WoodKimia Wood lives with her family somewhere in the American midwest, bracing for the collapse of society by knitting, baking, writing, hobby-farming, and reading as much Twitter as possible before the web goes dark.

Subscribe to the mailing list for a free copy of her post-apocalyptic novella Soldier, plus updates on her latest projects and other cool stuff whenever we think of other cool stuff.